Yep, My Thighs Touch — But I Still Wear Shorts

As I turned the corner to get my morning coffee, my peppy coworker was already smiling in my direction. “I always know when you’re coming down the hall, I can hear your feet dragging!”

Although it was embarrassing to be accused of dragging my feet by a girl who wears stilettos every day, it was more embarrassing to explain to her that the noise she heard was not my feet dragging.

“That’s the noise my jeans make when my thighs rub together,” I replied, a little too loudly because one of the executives looked up at me through his office door.

“Oh…,” she said, confused and slightly embarrassed herself. I just got called out on my thigh swoosh, which made the rest of my 30-second walk to make my morning coffee feel like it lasted an eternity. With every step I took there, was a swoosh and with every swoosh I cringed and tried to clear my throat to mask the noise.

The funny thing is, I actually get lots of compliments on my legs. A combination of good genes (thanks, Grandmother!) and 12 years of tap dance classes (thanks Mother and Papa!) have given me a set of solid, shapely stems that carry my plus-size frame with ease.

As I stood there pouring my coffee, I tried to figure out how I could get back to my desk without making noise. Everything I could think of involved me waddling down the hall with my legs straddled wide. Was I really going to let my inner thighs keep me from a full-on love affair with my legs?

Yes, I have to hold quarterly funerals for jeans that have died a slow death at the hands of my inner thigh friction. Yes, wearing biking shorts/shapewear under a flowy dress sometimes feels like a modern chastity belt. Yes, I have a drawer full of my favorite anti-chaffing products to fight chub rub when I want to go bare-legged.

Some girls have cellulite. I have chub-rub. And, none of these things are the end of the world.

As I finished making my coffee, I let go of the idea that I should be ashamed of my thighs touching and gently “swoosh-swooshed” back to my desk.

Perhaps I’ll never be able to sneak up behind someone because my thighs will give me away, but I’ve got a nice collection of mini-skirts and shorts that I feel completely comfortable in, and that’s not something I take for granted. If full shapely legs means a little extra noise and anti-chaffing product, is it really that big of a deal?