The Big Bang Theory is often lauded for its funny dialogue and endearing cast, but not as much for its treatment of problems that women face. However, this changed on this week's episode, "The Dependence Transcendence." The episode touched on the darker and more confusing part of pregnancy: what it feels like to be a woman who is pregnant, but not necessarily eager to have the baby at all.
Bernadette Rostenkowski (Melissa Rauch) is expecting a baby with her husband, Howard Wolowitz (Simon Helberg), as revealed on the last season of the show. As her belly grows, so does her anxiety around having to put her whole life on pause to nurture, raise, and mother a child. Motherhood is intense as hell, and Bernadette expresses her fear of not being a good parent. While decorating the nursery, Bernadette vents to Raj Koothrappali (Kunal Nayyar) about one of the most crippling fears for first-time moms: "I should care about nurseries and colours, and I don't. What's wrong with me? I'm waiting to feel excited, but it's not happening. What if it never happens?" Bernadette's solace is in the form of advice from Raj's Ob/Gyn father, who consoles her and tells her how normal it is not to want a baby.
Glamour.com points out that this is not the typical lighthearted repertoire seen on the show, but that's what makes it so important. No one is immune to feeling like something is wrong with them, even the most beloved of fictional characters on one of the most popular primetime series. This story arc is one of the most relatable moments on the show in its nine-year history. It's refreshing to see a woman afraid to embrace motherhood, because not all women feel excited about being mothers right off the bat, or ever at all. And there's nothing wrong with that.
As Raj's father tells Bernadette: "Some people are baby people. Some people are not baby people. Doesn't mean you won't love your own baby. Being excited isn't a guarantee of anything."
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