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It’s true: ‘original series’ have officially become better than reality. We now have fully formed, four-dimensional characters who are relatable to our lives (am I Alex Voss? Am I? I am Alex Voss), even if their plot lines are wholly ridiculous. It's no wonder we never stop watching, even during sex. I mean, it’s a dead cert: invite someone over, whack on Netflix – or Amazon Prime, I’m not here to discriminate – bone a bit, eat some pad-thai, and click that space bar one more time.
But... what did we do before endless streaming and next episode autoplay? What were the films and shows we chose to guarantee a good bit of roasting the broomstick? What were the fail-safe go-to's for a bit of VHS & Vagina, a little DVD & Dick, a wee sesh of boxset & bottoming?
When wracking my little pink Smythson sex journal, desperately seeking a watching pattern for the era I now dub the "sloppy years", there was no one movie that stood out. I remember taking it deep during Annie, but only once. I was so terrified during Wolf Creek that I spent approximately an hour and a quarter gagging on my twice-my-age-love-interest so I didn’t have to gag at the onscreen violence. I once marathon watched Buffy Season Three while managing to fit 13 anal beads and two fingers in my bum before the principal turned into a giant monster (spoiler!), but I was alone for that one.
And so, turning to the world of social media, I decided to ask other people what TV shows and films they've used to guarantee the good stuff. And what did I not expect to hear? Endless anecdotes about how people hit play for a lay on the exact same film for years on end. Have some imagination people!
Ahead, I present you with a gallery of the pre-'Flix films people use to get some.
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