5 Women On The Effect Of Having A Good First Period

Getting your first period is one of those moments in life that sticks with you forever — whether it was good or bad. Not to sound like an after-school special here but menstruation kick-starts a brand-new era of life; one of new discoveries, changing emotions and growth, both physically and emotionally. It’s a rite of passage for most women and people with uteruses but it also often comes loaded with stigma, shame and embarrassment, especially in those first vulnerable moments. But a first period can also be a positive experience that can shape how we view our changing bodies and learn to live with our menstrual cycles. It’s entirely possible to work on and embrace your constantly changing body into adulthood, and it’s even more possible to pass along that ethos and knowledge to generations to come.

According to a study published in JAMA Network Open, more children are starting to menstruate before the age of 9, which is often earlier than puberty education begins in schools, meaning that being prepared, ready and affirmed at an early age is more important than ever before. The menstrual cycle plays a role in almost every aspect of our lives, and someone’s first period experience can have a lasting impact on the way they interact with and even speak about their body for the rest of their life. If an experience loaded with shame can stifle us, a positive one can set us free.

These significant life moments that we have in our bodies help to frame how we identify ourselves in the world, says Morgan Miller, founder of Soft Corner Midwifery and co-author of The Cycle Book. “Your body is suddenly speaking a new language, and there’s a new familiarity that a person has to find with their new sense of day-to-day normal,” she tells Refinery29. “For that to feel positive is an absolute game-changer in how people continue to grow and evolve as human beings and how they see themselves in the world.”

Entering into this era of life in a shameless and affirming way has incredibly positive outcomes, says Laura Federico, LCSW, psychotherapist and co-author of The Cycle Book. This kind of acceptance helps us to be in tune with our bodies, meaning we’re more likely to connect dots, notice patterns and identify what’s happening for ourselves both physically and emotionally. (Of course, we’re able to learn these skills throughout our lives without having a good first period experience.) 

“Having a good [first] experience is a true gift because that means there’s less emotional work that you have to do down the line. Maybe you received really positive messages around your body, maybe you were given a great education around what the menstrual cycle is and how to take care of yourself, and that is huge,” Federico tells Refinery29. “That is a way to be able to step into your own bodily experience with confidence and comfort and a sense of care for yourself.”

Here, five women open up to Refinery29 about having a “good” first period — as they define it — and how it’s helped to shape their lives.