Money Diary: A Family Law Solicitor On £30,000

This week: "I’m a 32-year-old family law solicitor living in the East Midlands. I’ve always been good with money when I have it and accumulated a lot of savings earlier on in my life. Sadly I was subject to an emotionally, physically and financially abusive relationship in my mid 20s, which led to me losing everything I had saved and ending up in a lot of debt. Because I gave my ex access to my accounts (even though it was under duress), I was told that nothing could be done to rectify this, so I’ve ended up paying out of pocket. My credit rating has suffered a lot but I’m almost at the end of paying it all off. My story just proves that anything can happen, regardless of how diligent you are about saving, and that being in debt is not always due to poor money management or bad choices. It is part of the reason I now do the job I do. I am very passionate about supporting survivors of domestic abuse and am learning not to be too hard on myself about my past experiences.

I also have several health conditions resulting from contracting COVID in early 2020. Something that no one tells you about suddenly becoming disabled is that there is such a thing as disability tax. On the days I can’t stand up long enough to cook, a takeaway is sometimes the only option. On the days I feel well enough, I will batch cook and freeze meals to avoid having to do this, but sometimes getting groceries delivered or having a meal brought to you is all you can do. Once I have a firm and final diagnosis, I am hoping to apply for PIP (personal independence payment), which will help take the edge off this.

I used to love to shop when my finances were way more stable but I tend to prioritise experiences nowadays, and I’m still getting used to not beating myself up about living a little outside of paying off my debt. I work additional seasonal jobs to help with this, and I sell what I don’t need on Vinted to make a bit of extra cash. I am also very crafty and I tend to make a lot of gifts for people for Christmas and birthdays, which helps to save a bit! I’m really hoping to be able to go on holiday next year with my partner who knows all about my circumstances and is incredibly supportive. We’re hoping to buy a house together this year, once my credit rating has recovered some more. She is very well-off, earns significantly more than me and will be putting the deposit down. Knowing what I now know, I will be making sure that we are both protected when it comes to a fair division if something goes wrong. I do trust her but the imbalance of power side of things still scares me a bit. It will ultimately work out better financially than renting separately, and we will be able to be together a lot more, which is the priority. 

I’ve recently had a small pay increase following some additional qualifications, which has helped. It only amounts to an extra £250 per month but I am also aware that I am significantly underpaid for the role I’m in. I work for a small firm and other than a pension and performance-related bonus, there are no perks or benefits. I feel like I have to trade the loyalty I feel to the people who supported me through my illness for future financial security, which feels weirdly wrong. I have some very difficult choices to make and with everything else I’m dealing with, it’s all feeling very overwhelming."

Occupation: Solicitor
Industry: Law
Age: 32
Location: East Midlands
Salary: £30,000 with ad hoc income from additional work and performance-based bonus.
Paycheque amount: £1,932.24
Number of housemates: None
Pronouns: She/they

Housing costs: £550 excluding bills. I rent a small two-bedroom house on my own. 
Loan payments: £200 split between my credit card and overdraft plus student loan payments, which are deducted from my payslip.
Pension? It’s a workplace pension and I pay in 5% of my salary. My company pays in 3%.
Savings? A very small amount! £120 at the moment (and yes, it is a major source of anxiety).
Utilities: £160 gas and electric direct debit, £90 council tax, £14.12 TV licence, £30 water bill.
All other monthly payments: £60.99 pet insurance for my two furry housemates, £45 phone bill, £36 internet. Subscriptions: £24.99 for mine and my parents' Netflix, £11.99 Spotify.

Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I was the first in my family to go into higher education and there was very much an expectation for me to do well for myself. I did a law degree, which was funded by student finance. I wasn't entitled to much of a maintenance loan and lived at home while commuting to uni and working in a supermarket at weekends. I have always been a hard worker — at one point in year two of my degree I had four separate jobs! I did my barrister training but realised it wasn't for me, had a brief break from academia and then did my solicitor's training and master's, which I passed last year. I self-funded my barrister training and obtained a master's loan for my most recent training. It didn't quite cover the amount due so I put a lot of money into it myself.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money?
My parents were always very positive about money and we always had frank discussions about it. Our family was rocked by my mum unexpectedly becoming disabled during the recession, and as a result we had to adapt to being a single-income household. I never worried about money growing up — my parents never let on that things were tight but I now know there were some very scary times. I was in the lucky position that I never went without but I always knew the value of money.

If you have, when did you move out of your parents'/guardians' house?
I moved out at 23 when I bought a house with my ex. I moved back in for a year at 25 when that relationship broke down but have lived on my own ever since. 

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
I became financially responsible for myself early on. While at university I paid my own bills, and paid my mum and dad around £500 board — unknown to me, they saved this in a high interest account and gave it back to me when I told them I was hoping to buy a place with my ex. This was entirely unexpected and I was very grateful. At the time I did not know it was being saved for me so I would still say I was financially responsible for myself! At the moment, I don't have a financial safety net and as I now have chronic illnesses which can impact my ability to work, I do worry about this. I am looking into income protection but the policies are very expensive. If push came to shove my parents would help me, my partner (who is much better off than me) would help, and I have an amazing network of friends who have helped me in the past, but I am frightened of not being self-sufficient.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was at 16 as a checkout girl in a supermarket. I got it as soon as I was old enough to work and loved chatting to people at work every day!

Do you worry about money now?
All the time. I found myself in an emotionally, physically and financially abusive relationship which turned really nasty when we bought a house together. Before then, he was nice as pie. He took control of my finances and left me in a significant amount of debt, which I found out about after he left me for a girl he worked with. It turns out that leaving me was the kindest thing he ever did, even though he ripped me off (he kept the house and only paid me back £6,000 of the £15,000 I had put in for the deposit — I was too unwell after the breakup to fight him on it). I worked in very low-paying jobs (at the time I was supporting myself on £17,000 a year) but I have managed to pay off over £20,000 of debt in total. I am sad about what I could have used that money for but I am proud of myself for continuing to pay it off aggressively. I am still in debt but it is the last little bit left to clear. After pushing myself so hard for the last seven years to clear as much as I have, I now try to balance it with having a little bit of a life outside of debt payments. I have never told my family about my debts, due in equal parts to shame and knowing that my dad is hoping to retire soon. They have worked so hard for their money and I am not entitled to take that from them to be comfortable myself.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
I have not, although I anticipate that I may receive a small amount of inheritance in future from my elderly relatives. However, debt or no debt, I would much rather have my relatives.