Yes, You Can Have Tantric Sex By Yourself

Despite its overblown reputation as Sting's favourite bedroom pastime, tantric sex is about more than marathon orgasms and sustained, seemingly pointless, eye contact. By prioritising sensory pleasure and emotional release over instant gratification, tantric principles frame sex as spiritual act, one that will make you feel more aware of your own body, both in and out of the bedroom. "It's bigger than sex, and it's more expansive than getting off or scratching an itch," says tantric embodiment coach Maisha Najuma Aza.

When practiced with an open mind and heart, tantric sex can lead to better communication, a deeper connection between you and your partner, and, yes, better sex over all. But, as beneficial (and very fun) as tantric sex can be with another person, you can adopt a similar practice all on your own. And, given how personal tantra can be, certain aspects of it are actually well-suited to a solo session.

"Tantra, to me, is about being conscious of your connection to your soul, your body, and your connection to love," says Aza. She adds that tantric practices involve mindfulness, self-awareness, and a willingness to listen to how one's body responds to touch and sensation.

In other words, tantric sex is an exploratory process that takes a lot of time — and at its heart lies a need to be in touch with yourself and how you experience pleasure. Incorporating tantric elements into your masturbation routine can be an excellent step toward better understanding who you are as an erotically embodied being, as Aza puts it.

And, given how personal this practice can be, there's no one-size-fits-all guide to tantric masturbation. "Each person is different and they will each need something different given their unique erotic constitution," Aza says. If you really want a personal set of recommendations, you'll need to make an appointment with tantric consultant (for what it's worth, Aza offers sessions in person and via Skype).

That said, if you're a total beginner, and you're ready to dip your toe into the deep, luxurious waters of tantra, Aza offers a few tips to get you started. Read on to learn more about tantric masturbation and how it can take your self-love to whole new heights.