The Kardashian Family Christmas Card Is Here In All Its Hedonistic Glory

Rising among the remnants of years and years of tabloids comes America's ever-polarizing, why-are-we-still-watching-them Kardashian family to wish us all a happy holiday. That is, of course, if you can consider a billboard-style family glamour portrait a holiday card.

Dressed in all black, the Kardashian-Jenner crew posed for famed fashion photographer David LaChappelle for their now-anticipated family Christmas card Kristmas Kard. Kris Jenner plays wannabe Cleopatra while Kim stares longingly into the distance most likely wondering where Kanye and North are. Not that there's any need to monetize the family more, but the entire clan basks in the glow an oversized gold dollar sign and neon lights among the ruins of paparazzi shots and innocent selfies.

The entire card is grandiose, and a little unnerving to think just how much thought went into this one-time affair. But, alas, the crew is in on their schtick and throwing it — along with some shiny mannequins — right back at us. The portrait even foreshadows Kris and Bruce Jenner's divorce with Bruce trapped in a glass tube isolated from the rest of the family. A bit macabre? Sure, but when packaged in a super-saturated set of magentas, purples, and gold, even the most salacious hit at your celebrity can feel like opulence. (Grazia)