Photo: Getty Images.So, this isn’t your first Sundance. What’s it like being back and a little more established?
Gubler (as Plaza): “The six years of Parks & Rec have made me a little more poised, a little more confident. I’ve always had an interior burning confidence, though. I feel like my wings have finally spread. I just get it, you know?”
Plaza (as Gubler): “What do you get exactly, Aubrey?”
Gubler (as Plaza): “Well, I get how to really be a mover and a shaker.”
Plaza (as Gubler): “What’s the biggest thing you’ve shook?”
Gubler (as Plaza): “I’ve shaken...(long pause, Aubrey poised for his response). I feel bad. I don’t want to get too dirty.”
We don't get dirty, but we do get weird. So, what was your most debaucherous Sundance moment?
Gubler (as Plaza): “My most debaucherous Sundance moment with me, Aubrey, was when I was in the hot tub with Andy Milonakis, Riff Raff, and John Stamos — that’s all you need to know. We were listening to Tony Danza’s CD.”
That’s a lot of hair. There would be a lot of hair in that hot tub.
Gubler (as Plaza): “A lot of hair. Hot. Hot hair.”
Photo: Courtesy of Sundance.Plaza (as Gubler): “Would I, Matthew Gubler, want to be best friends with Jennifer Lawrence? Does best friends mean I get to touch her boobies? All I like to do is touch boobies. I’m hungry and I like boobies.”
Fair enough. Do you want to be best friends with Jennifer Lawrence, Aubrey?
Gubler (as Plaza): “I am best friends with Jennifer Lawrence. We love having our boobies touched, like, all the time. She was in the hot tub that one time, she was.”
Aubrey (as Gubler): “We touch boobies together.”
Plaza (as Gubler): “I just love all the underage girls. I prefer my fans to be underage, and I like when they send photos of themselves to me. I keep them all on my phone. I have about 7,000 photos of underage girls on my phone. I look at them all day long.”
Plaza (as Gubler): “No, I keep them all to myself.”
Gubler (as Plaza): “Can you tell me who Bella is?”
She’s the one in Twilight.
Gubler (as Plaza): “You know, I’ve always felt a real kinship to Bella, but I do have to admit, I’ve had some — I’m trying so hard not to be dirty. I’d rather be Bella because I want to kiss Robert Pattinson so hard, all over.”
Plaza (as Gubler): “Don’t you want to kiss Kristen Stewart more?”
Gubler (as Plaza): “I do. Doesn’t Kristen Stewart play Bella? I’m basing this on the fact that I would get to French kiss Robert Pattinson.”
Matthew?
Plaza (as Gubler): “I would like to also kiss Robert Pattinson — on his penis.”
If the other one of you was dead and came back to life, how far would you go to keep them?
Gubler (as Plaza): “I’d go to the ends of the earth. I’d find an inspiration, a source of love. I just feel really like myself around him. Getting to know him these past few months has been the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I date my life now as Before Matthew and After Matthew. The second after would feel like an eternity. I would do anything for him.”
Matthew?
Plaza (as Gubler): “What she said.”
Not even gross, rotting skin?
Gubler (as Plaza): “I’d prefer it!”