What To Do While You Wait For Susan Miller’s Forecast, By Sign

We are all, each one of us, part of the cosmos. And, in order to understand our place in the greater planetary universe, we use the science of astrology channeled through our high priestess, Susan Miller. Miller’s site Astrology Zone, with its geo-cities style graphics and plentiful pop-up ads, is where many head at the the beginning of every month in order to gain wisdom and insight into coming events.

However, our seer is sick. Since some time this spring, Miller has been suffering an unspecified autoimmune disorder (her Twitter feed is full of vague hints at what it could be) and her forecasts have been posted later and later each month. September is now nearly two weeks late, and Miller’s Facebook page has devolved into a chorus of outraged complaints answered by defensive well wishers. Another Facebook page, the now-private ABSM (Abandoned By Susan Miller, of course), has sprung up with 700 members and counting.

It’s normal to be upset when things like this happen. Terri Cole, a psychologist and anxiety expert, told us that the disruption of expectations can literally cause pain. "In this world, where we have little control over many things (think natural disasters, war, etc.), humans crave routine and knowing what to expect,” she says. “Routine is a way of creating the illusion of control and helps to bind anxiety.” And, what routine is more important than that of the sky?

Above all, we want Ms. Miller to be well, and to return and guide us into the future. But for now, we present our highly unscientific, un-Susan Miller astrological guide to getting through this troubled, literally uncharted time.