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[Editor Note: Please do not think that this is stereotyping Canada. The writer of this post is actually a true, blue Canadian, and would never besmirch his country. He did say, "They are actually flying flags at half-mast," and when we said, "Really?", he laughed at us all.]
It's a dark, dark day in the Great White North. All hockey games have been postponed. Most of Tim Hortons' 10 billion outposts have been shuttered. Even the igloos have started to melt.
So, what happened?
Did Justin Bieber decide to move back home? Did all Canadian NBC affiliates suddenly stop airing American Ninja Warrior? Unfortunately it's worse. Much worse.
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According to multiple sources, Canada's unofficial first couple Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne are headed for divorce. After just over a year of marriage, it would appear that their problems were just too much to overcome. And, boy were there a lot of them.
"There's jealousy on both sides. She flirts, he flirts. She's very insecure to begin with," one insider close to the couple told E! News.
"Chad is just a complete jerk in the way he talks to her, and the way he talks to people in general," another told Us Weekly.
There are also rumors that Lavigne is ready for children, but wasn't convinced the Nickelback frontman is the right guy for the job.
We hate to break it to them, but couples with trust, jealousy, and communication issues never work. Unfortunately, having really blabby friends doesn't usually help things either. (Us Weekly)