Amal Alamuddin
"George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year. Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an advisor to Kofi Annan regarding Syria and was selected for a three-person U.N. commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza strip. So tonight, her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award."
One of several jabs at Bill Cosby
"In Into the Woods, Cinderella runs from her prince, Rapunzel is thrown from her tower for her prince, and Sleeping Beauty just thought she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby."
"Into the Woods stars Meryl Streep. Meryl plays a witch who sends the townspeople on a magical quest to collect the items she needs to win another Golden Globe."
Steve Carell
"Steve Carell's Foxcatcher look took two hours to put on. Just for comparison, it took me three hours today to prepare for my role as human woman."
Emma Stone
"Big Eyes is nominated tonight. In fact, one of those famous Big Eyes paintings is on display tonight. Let's check it out."