Urban Decay Has Totally Lost It

Yes friends, it's finally happened: Urban Decay has lost its damn mind. Yesterday, we got what is probably the most amazing and certifiably cray delivery ever to have graced our offices (and that's including the dancing Webby dinosaur and the male model dressed in farmer's overalls — both long stories for another time). What, pray tell, made us doubt the brand's tenuous grasp on reality? The fact that it's replaced its ENTIRE lipstick collection. Every last one of them.

That's right — all existing UD lipsticks are going bye-bye. Stop hyperventilating and take some deep breaths, please — you don't have to bid farewell to your beloved Matte Revolution. The new Vice (that's what the inclusive collection is now called) takes all of the existing lipstick shades (including some discontinued ones, some limited-edition selects, and some brand-new ones) and repackages, reformulates, and reintroduces them to the world.

The formulas feature an "unbelievable laydown of color"; a butter blend to condition; antioxidant vitamins C and E; a non-dragging application; long-lasting moisture; and softness thanks to aloe vera, avocado, babassu, and jojoba oils. The shades span the gamut of finishes: Mega Matte, Comfort Matte, Cream, Metallized, Sheer, and Sheer Shimmer.

That packaging we were talking about? It fits in perfectly with UD's whole "beauty with an edge" ethos, and then some. Vice is a throwback to the brand's OG lipstick case — the shotgun shell, for you hardcore fans — but modernizes it with a gunmetal case and a gold base featuring an embossed UD logo. When you're digging around in your makeup drawer/purse/coat pocket/fanny pack (no judgment), this rounded, compact shape makes it infinitely easier to identify and whip out for emergency lip-painting.

About those shades, there are 100 of them. Not around, not close to, not basically: There are 100 lipstick colors launching at one time, in a veritable flood of pigment, to the shelves and websites of UD retailers (Sephora, Ulta Beauty, Macy's, Beauty.com) and UrbanDecay.com (duh). And 74 of those hues are brand-new. Just wait, there's more. Because apparently, 100 lipsticks wasn't enough, you've also got 50 redesigned lip pencils coming your way.

The sheer amount of choices presented here is staggering. We each spent a good 20 minutes agonizing over which shades we wanted to try out. If you're completely at a loss, UD founder Wende Zomnir says her must-haves include Pandemonium, Rock Steady, 714, Big Bang, Firebird, Menace, Naked, Backtalk, Conspiracy, and Disturbed. And, good news for anyone who missed some of the limited-edition collections from previous years: Nine of them will be coming back, including — to our delight — Mrs. Mia Wallace from that on-point Pulp Fiction homage that debuted way back in 2014.

Now for the bad news: It doesn't launch until June 5. Wah. But that gives you just enough time to thoroughly review the offerings (you know there are going to be swatches galore all over YouTube five minutes from now) and decide where you want to drop your cash: $17 a tube, to be exact. Are you going to restock an existing favorite, branch out with something new, or stroll down memory lane with a classic? You've got some time, little lambs, but better start doing your homework lest you freeze up when they all drop.

To whet your appetite, here is a handful of the new colors — and resurrected ones — for you to peruse. Do us a favor, though, and wipe the drool off your mouth before you start clicking.