Nev Schulman and his girlfriend, Laura Perlongo, are expecting a baby. The Catfish host and Perlongo, who have been dating long-distance for less than a year, announced the news on Instagram in sweet and cheery posts.
"No words can capture the excitement and joy I feel about becoming a father. I am so in love with you @el_peego and thank you for giving me this incredible gift," Schulman wrote. "You inspire and excite me every day." He also linked to an extensive and intimate essay the pair published on ATTN:.
It's a lot. If you ever wanted to read a stream-of-consciousness narration of a stranger's pregnancy and everything that follows, read up. But the most interesting part of Perlongo's personal essay is the why.
"I’m writing this because I believe baby-making times are strange for the growing population of girls like me (and most modern couples for that matter) and we shouldn’t feel dumb talking about the stuff that makes us wonder if we should stop procreating altogether," she explains. "We live in an ever-evolving world that breeds new skill sets, but also new fears in how successfully we can translate this world to family life."
We're all about having open and honest conversations when it comes to sex, relationships, pregnancy, and parenting, so more power to Ms. Perlongo.
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Here's a recap of the, erm, highlights.
Conceiving & Getting High: "It was a low-key Saturday night in February. I had taken a gummy with my boyfriend. Well, I guess first I had condom-less, birth control-free sex where the white stuff got inside the vaginal pocket, but a couple weeks later, I ate marijuana in the form of candy."
Peeing on a stick: "I went to the bathroom for my pre-menstrual pregnancy test ritual. Like most girls not on birth control, every month there is a day or two where I confuse normal PMS with 'definitely pregnant...' [This time, there were] two lines."
The initial panic: "We had similar verbal reactions of, ‘Kk great, we’ll figure it out together.’ But our brains were more like that cagey salt-and-pepper shaker amusement ride — unsynchronized, kinda fun, and a little, Oh fuck, why did I get on here... We’re part of that ‘lazy’, ‘self-absorbed’ urban millennial generation that does not want to grow up in any traditional sense."
Panic turns to joy: "After the initial shock/weed wore off, I knew right away I wanted this baby. I was strong. I was smart. I was full of love. I COULD DO THIS! I was confident I’d be great. Nev was confident he would be great."
But then, their friends aren't happy for them: "[T]hey couldn’t say much while choking back their horror, but it seemed as though most of my open-minded, amazing, loving friends couldn’t believe what they were hearing. It was as if I told them I had a terminal illness...I was heartbroken."
They question it all: "My boyfriend and I asked and re-asked ourselves all the cliché, but important, questions you ask when deciding whether you want to bring a new person into the world. Can we nurture them physically, emotionally, and financially? Do we want to?"
They charge ahead: "Ultimately, I didn’t believe I should deprive myself of a much-wanted experience because of stereotypical perceptions of what motherhood was supposed to look like...To make a long letter short, Nev and I certainly have no idea what we’re doing, we just know we’re doing something we want to be doing."