What's the key to getting those right-swipes? We've got a few tips for you, but if you're 25-year-old Montreal native Joe Bagel (not his real name), you go old school. How old? Think Cyrano. Think Shakespeare. Do it with poetry. Like a sort of digital wandering minstrel, Bagel seduces with his own brand of balladry.
Bagel's day job as a copywriter — and sometimes-contributor to Medium — probably helps him craft his "name poems," which, like an assignment you may have had in elementary school, involves taking the letters from his would-be suitors' names and creating a sort of short free verse.
These unique poems, which are also known as acrostics, have earned Bagel a near-100% response rate on the dating app. He's become such a hot commodity, in fact, that he told the Daily Mail that he has to turn some women away.
"It's hard, because oftentimes girls will be so enamored with the poems that they'll ask you out themselves. So I've had to be more careful about how many poems I send," he said.
The acrostics are Bagels' second attempt at wooing with verse: before he stumbled upon the magic of name poems, he attempted to seduce women with works of John Keats and John Donne. "Obviously though, those poems weren't personalized. And girls love personalized poems," he explained.
Some key excerpts: To Laura, Bagel sent: "Lascivious / anarchists / usurp / radical / Alambamans / Laura, name poem." To Maëlle: "Marital / attournets / enjoy / lusty- / lover- / extortion / Maëlle, name poem." You can check out more on Medium, where Bagel explains the process in more detail.
Bagel insists that the poems have garnered 500 responses and 12 dates. However, he admits that as a budding poet, he has had to resort to seeking help in thesauruses and online rhyming dictionaries. Want some tips from the bard himself? Bagel is offering free name poems to anyone who sends him a Super Like, so just head to Montreal for a master class on acrostics.