Who Nick Should Pick On The Bachelor, Based On Astrology

When the ancient Greeks laid on their backs and traced the outlines of animals in the sky, they set into effect the great starstuff system that is astrology. Ever since, shifting zodiac signs have been the silent force dictating our live paths, moods, and, of course, our romances. From Romeo and Juliet to Jack and Rose, the greatest love stories are woven into the great celestial tapestry above us.

Enter the Bachelor, the seasonal show of romance that’s just as much a fixture in our lives as the night sky. When Nick Viall, America’s favorite scruffy Libra, ventures to choose between his four dashing lady loves on a frigid night in Finland, we think he should seek guidance the same way people have been doing for centuries. The stars shine bright up in the North Pole.

We’ve applied our best investigative journalism skills (and a few astrological birth charts) to interrogate the stars and reveal the destiny between all of these pairs.

The stars don’t lie, Nick, so we recommend you listen up.