This Guy's Stolen Sex Doll Story Is The Most Bizarre Thing You'll Read Today

Honesty is the best policy, right? While that's true for most situations, there are some things that should really just stay secret.

Like this guy who shared a bizarre story about his sex doll. He probably should've just kept his mouth shut.

The story has been floating around the internet for a few months, but really took off when screenshots of the posts made their way to @elizabethdanger, who shared them on Twitter.

"A wild ride from start to finish," she wrote on the post. The first screenshot shows a picture of the doll (super tiny waist and blurred out nipples, included.) The guy who originally shared them wrote, "someone sent me a sex doll its not the one I wanted but hey I'm not complaining and I'm taking it as a compliment."

In the next screenshot the guy wrote that he went out job hunting one day and someone broke into his house and stole his sex doll. He then later posted that he was never going to get his sex doll back.

"The police found her in the back of some dude's car when the police pulled him over for a traffic violation," he wrote. "Long story short they found enough meth in this guy's car to put him in prison for life."

The guy who allegedly stole his sex doll was chopping it up to sell the metal skeleton for cash, he wrote.

"I gess I don't deserve happyness," the guy wrote.

You'd think that's how the story ends, but you'd be wrong. The guy's guilt eventually got the best of him, and the truth came out. Turns out, the doll's vagina ripped while the poster was having sex with it. So he cut it up himself and threw it away.

Commenters on the tweet were collectively confused.

And, tbh, we're pretty confused, too. Why he decided to weave this sordid tale instead of just keeping the whole thing to himself, we'll never know.