i didn't KNOW he was OLD. he had one of those okcupid pictures of like, the side of his face looking toward a mountain. you know those ones
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
nobody! NOT A SOUL. just a pile of coats on a chair
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
i'm like 'okay cool this dude isn't punctual. that's something we have in common"
...reveals its face, and says in a voice like dry leaves rubbing together "hello are you priya?"
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
guys
GUYS.
guys
WE ARE TALKING OLD LIKE THEY'RE SO OLD THEY STARTED SHRINKING BACK INTO THEMSELVES OLD. LIKE THEY'RE GETTING SMALLER AGAIN. LIKE A JELLYFISH
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
IT IS HARD TO PLACE AN AGE ON HIM BUT MY CONSERVATIVE ESTIMATE WOULD BE, 79
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
*remembers Donald Trump is 70*
NO, 89
he gives me the most innocuous answer you can give anyone "i'm writing a book & i wanted to put something in about social media these days"
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
NBD right? anyway it's now 7 o clock and dude is like "i had better get going"
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
i was all solicitous like "of course! be careful out there"
he says "i live two blocks down and i dont really use my dick a lot but the women have told me they prefer my mouth"
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
???????????????????
i mean i know i did SOMEthing - laughed in a high pitch? excused myself? PAID FOR THE TEA, EVEN?- but we will never know what it was
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
I went home, took a bath, and deleted my Okcupid account -FIN
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017