Mary Lambert Opened Up About Suicidal Thoughts, Sexual Assault, & Healing

You may know Mary Lambert from her featured role on Macklemore's "Same Love," but the singer and spoken-word poet has done so much more since then. She repeatedly rips our hearts apart with deeply emotional tracks like "Body Love," and then puts them back together again with catchy, up-beat (but still meaningful) songs like "Secrets."

In both of these songs, Lambert discusses societal expectations of a what a woman should be and her personal struggle with mental health and self-love. Now, following the release of her new EP — appropriately titled "Bold" — Lambert continues the discussion of mental health, treatment of women, and healing in a new video with Cosmopolitan.

In the video, Lambert talks about her history of sexual assault — she was molested by her father as a child and gang raped as a teen — living undiagnosed with bipolar disorder for years, being shamed for her body size, attempting suicide, and what healing really looks like.

Lambert said in the video that "everything hurt so much" and that for her, writing music was a survival technique.

"There is something healing about explicitly saying what happened to you, and speaking your truth," she said.

But still, as much as we like to talk about the healing power of music, singing wasn't enough.

"You can only write so much, you can only sing so many songs until it's, like, fucking at your door," she said.

She remembers the moment she was holding pills in her hand and a voice told her that she should stay, and she still had important things to do.

While things have gotten better for Lambert — she's become an outspoken body positivity activist, advocate for mental health and LGBTQ rights, and one half of possibly the cutest couple ever to exist — the path from the moment when she was holding pills in her hand to becoming the strong, confident woman she is today wasn't sunshine and rainbows.

"Real healing is shitty," she said. "It's dirty, and ugly, and not easy."

You can watch the Cosmo video here.

If you are an LGBTQ person thinking about suicide, please call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386.