Toby Parents Warnings About Kate Backlash On This Is Us

Photo: Courtesy of NBC

Weddings are supposed to be magical occasions filled with love and support from family and friends. But, on the season 2 finale of This Is Us, fans were reminded that sometimes things don't always happen the way we expect they should.

Before walking down the aisle to marry Kate (Chrissy Metz), Toby (Chris Sullivan) had a difficult conversation with his parents, who kind of cornered him to say that they had concerns about his bride-to-be.

"It feels like you are constantly bending over backwards to calm her," his dad said.

His mom added that she felt like Toby was "tip-toeing around to keep from setting [Kate] off." It's true that Kate and Toby had been experiencing some stress during the wedding-planning process. Anyone who's participated in a wedding could tell you that a certain amount of anxiety is normal, especially for those who have lost someone who can't be in attendance. But, could his parents have a point in saying that Kate's unresolved familial issues could be bad news for Toby's mental and emotional health? Some fans think so.

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"Is it bad that I agree with Toby's parents?" one commenter asked. "Kate *is* quite (emotionally) impulsive, always disappearing or running off somewhere when she's upset. It's kinda exhausting."

Is it bad that I agree with Toby’s parents? Kate *is* quite (emotionally) impulsive, always disappearing or running off somewhere when she’s upset. It’s kinda exhausting. #ThisIsUs
— Nneka M. Okona ?? (@afrosypaella) March 14, 2018

I kinda understand where Toby’s parents are coming from tbh... idk man ? #ThisIsUs
— NiNi (@HeyThereNiNi) March 14, 2018

Nah Toby’s parents are right. He’s always bent over backwards for Kate. Tip toeing around is right. Everyone has to tip toe around Kate #ThisIsUs
— Kay(ega) (@mightykatara) March 14, 2018

I appreciate Toby’s parents so much right now. They don’t seem like the meddling type at all but Toby needs this talk. Kate is TERRIBLE ? #ThisIsUs
— Tripp Darling (@GiGi__Says) March 14, 2018

Others couldn't believe that Toby's 'rents waited until the day of his wedding to voice their concerns.

"Toby's parents are out of order," one fan tweeted. "This conversation should have happened already."

Toby’s parents are out of order. This conversation should have happened already. #ThisIsUs
— Cousin Hennessy (@Ladidadi56) March 14, 2018

Toby’s parents are right. Kate has issues. They ain’t shit for telling him this on his wedding day though #ThisIsUs
— ??NaijaGal?? (@Naija4LifeO) March 14, 2018

Toby's parents have valid concerns. You gonna wait until the day of the wedding though, fam? Just gonna ambush the man while he's getting dressed for said wedding??? #ThisIsUs
— Snack Panther (@SistahSarcasm) March 14, 2018

Not a fan of Toby's parents.... #ThisIsUs #TIUseasonfinale
— This Is Us Fans (@NBCThisIsUsFans) March 14, 2018

I'm gonna go ahead and take a stand and say it. Fuck. Toby's. Parents.#ThisIsUs @NBCThisisUs
— Jessie Lund (@starrybrained) March 14, 2018

So, yeah, as you can see, things are pretty heated between people who are pro-Toby's parents and pro-Kate. Sadly, if the flash-forward to Toby depressed in bed at the end of the episode is any indication, this divide may continue to grow.

But, is it fair to blame Toby's past and (potential) future depression on the women he's married? Not entirely, no. Doing so would erase the fact that there are very real biological and personal factors that help determine someone's overall mental health. It's unfair to make another person completely responsible for your health and happiness.

Of course, it is reasonable to expect that your partner will be supportive when you're feeling depressed. Kate did seem to be loving and patient in the flash-forward clip.

It's also not fair to assume that the couple hadn't already experienced hardships together. While Kate's heartbreaking miscarriage tested their relationship, Toby's vulnerability and honesty actually brought them closer.

Ultimately, it's up to Kate and Toby to decide what's best for themselves and for their marriage. As Toby passionately told his parents, he's "unstably in love with Kate Pearson," and nothing's going to change that.

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