Ryan Reynolds Tweets Dad Advice Literally No One Should Heed

Ryan Reynolds is best known as the beloved and foul-mouthed superhero of our dreams. As husband to Blake Lively, he's also one-half of the perfect Hollywood couple, making news with every hilarious social media burn the two fling at each other. But buried deep in the Deadpool actor's funny Twitter timeline is the ultimate guide to fatherhood all men no man should heed.

Reynolds' Twitter lessons cover all sorts of parenting 101 topics: teaching a child to self-soothe by walking out of their lives forever, or explaining to a toddler that mommy and daddy are going to die. The A-list heartthrob is also a big proponent of reminding children that they stole your freedom, sleep, and sucked all joy from your life.

Lively, who shares daughters James, 3, and Inez, 21 months, with her hubby, is definitely in on the joke – even supporting Reynolds when he bartered away poor James for a movie role.

Read ahead for Reynolds' most important parenting lessons, and remember to keep only the sharpest of objects near a baby's face.