Billie Eilish is known for being refreshingly and courageously honest about her mental health. Now, in a new interview featured on Gayle King's The Gayle King Grammy Special, the singer is opening up even more.
"I was so unhappy last year," the six-time Grammy nominee revealed to King. "I was so unhappy and I was so like, joyless."
"There was this fame I didn't want at the time," she explained. Eilish called it "torturous," describing how it was hard for her to even hang out with her friends without getting bombarded by people and the press.
"I don't want to be too dark, but I genuinely didn't think I'd make it to 17," Eilish added.
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"Did you think that you would do something to yourself?" King asked. "Yeah," Eilish replied.
Thankfully, the singer did celebrate her 17th birthday — then, her 18th. In the interview, she credited her mother for helping her cope with her depression and suicidal thoughts.
"We checked in with her all the time about, 'Do you still want to do this?'" Eilish's mom, Maggie Baird, said. "She loved doing the shows. The fans and the shows, that's what kept her going."
The past six months have been easier on her, Eilish shared. She credits going to therapy and the support of her family for helping her get to a better place.
Previously, Eilish has spoken out about her anxiety and depression and revealed she used to self-harm. Now she tries to support fans going through similar experiences.
"I just grab them by the shoulders and I'm like, 'Please take care of yourself and be good to yourself and be nice to yourself,'" Eilish said. "Don't take that extra step and hurt yourself further.'"
If you are thinking about suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Crisis Line at 1-800-784-2433.
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