Tag Yourself In Trump’s New Poll: Are You A “Radical Socialist” Or Just “Low-Energy”?

The campaign to reelect Donald J. Trump seems to have taken a page from BuzzFeed’s quiz section. Except instead of “Which Fictional Food Are You?” or “We’ll Tell You Which Dog Breed You Are Based On The Luxury Apartment You Design” the geniuses of Trump 2020 want to know whether you’re a steak-eating, gun-toting, flag-waving American committed to voting for “President Trump” or if you’re a, you know, radical socialist.  

In a recent poll (or, really, “poll”) from the campaign, the budding Karl Roves backing Trump pose 10 questions to the electorate, asking things like “Who do you trust to NOT raise your taxes?” and “Who will you vote for in 2020?” Each question has two (2) acceptable multiple-choice responses, which are: 1) President Trump (haha, duh, you know it’s this one!), and 2) Some type of pejorative take on “Democrat” straight from Trump’s uncomplicated, Twitter-addled mind. It’s as dark and deranged as anything the Trump team has ever put out, with the added undercurrent of a terrifyingly authoritarian “Are you with us or against us?” message. Happy Monday, America! 

If the Trump team wants a piece of our minds so badly, why not take the quiz and add to their surely highly accurate pool of data? And while you’re at it, tag yourself: Are you a “Corrupt Democrat”? Or maybe you’re more of a “Low Energy Democrat”? Personally, we are probably closest to “Radical Socialist Democrat,” with a rising sign in “Sleazy Democrat.” Quick question: Is there a difference between a “Lying Democrat” and a “Lyin’ Democrat”? Is one more casual than the other?

It’s easy enough to dismiss this poll as a distraction. However, the Trump campaign has long trafficked in that kind of “change-the-conversation” campaign technique, from peddling “Obamagate” and numerous other conspiracy theories to retweeting racist propaganda to actually tear-gassing peaceful protestors before using the Bible as a grotesque prop. But, none of this seems to be working as a campaign strategy so far. In 2020, Trump’s campaign is far more off-message than it was in 2016, when he at least addressed issues such as the economy and immigration (albeit in terrifying ways). While it’s important to be cautious about polls (hi, 2016), the Trump campaign doesn’t have much to smile about right now, with Low Energy Democrat Joe Biden ahead in every battleground state and polling higher than Hillary Clinton ever did. So they’re doing what they do best: shitpost. 

We have to say, though, that it’s unintentionally hilarious to see Biden, whose record is about as centrist as it gets, described as a “Radical Socialist.” Next thing you know, Trump will be calling Nancy Pelosi an anarchist in pearls. This is as good a reason as any for Democrats to stop caring about appearing too left-wing in the face of his batshit fascism. The good news? Trump might be inadvertently radicalizing a new generation who won’t ever settle for the likes of him again.