Is Kelly Loeffler A Stepford Wife? A Very Serious Investigation

Kelly Loeffler, one of the two Republican runoff candidates in Georgia vying for a seat (and majority control) in the Senate, is once again in the public eye. After a truly robotic debate performance in which she called her opponent, Rev. Raphael Warnock, a “radical liberal” at least 14 times and claimed there “wasn’t a racist bone” in her body in response to her condemnation of the Black Lives Matter movement, people are taking to Twitter to share bizarre (and hilarious) conspiracy theories as to who Kelly Loeffler is…or at least the type of robot matter she’s made out of.

One prevailing hypothesis is that Loeffler is a Stepford Wife posing as a political figure. After regurgitating the same Donald Trump-like talking points when discussing the ways in which she’s different from her Democratic opponent, several Twitter users began to peddle the Stepford Wife conspiracy. “Kelly Loeffler is an evil robot alien Stepford Wife who has no clue how 98% of her constituents live,” one Twitter user wrote. “Once upon a time an evil MAGA child wished for a Republican Senate majority, so Donald Trump brought a mannequin from T.J. Maxx to life for Christmas and that’s the story of Kelly Loeffler,” tweeted comedian Randy Rainbow.

Meanwhile, others are convinced that Kelly Loeffler isn’t Kelly Loeffler at all, but Fox News Host Ann Coulter cosplaying Kelly Loffler in lieu of this year's canceled Comic-Con conventions. Physically, the two women are remarkably similar, and resemble most if not almost all of the women who support and are part of Donald Trump’s inner circle. “Has anyone actually seen Kelly Loeffler and Ann Coulter in the same room together?” one Twitter user asked. “Kelly Loeffler is what you get when you have several pieces left over when you’re done building Ann Coulter,” another tweeted. 

And given that it appears as though all a woman needs to have in order to be welcomed into the Trump team is a size 2 frame, blonde hair, and a sycophantic nature, there are those arguing that Loeffler is not one person but many — the human centipede of the MAGA movement. “Kelly Loeffler is the Ann Coulter of Kellyanne Conways,” reads one tweet. “Kelly Loeffler is 30% Kellyanne Conway, 20% Ann Coulter, 20% Tomi Lahren, and 30% a literal pile of bricks, according to Klancestry dot com,” reads another.

Per our investigation, it's unclear so far whether or not Loeffler is, in fact, a Stepford Wife (or Ann Coulter). But whether Loeffler is an evil entity you can summon by "looking into a mirror" and chanting “socialism” three times, or Vice President Mike Pence in a human suit, one thing is certain: she represents the dangerous future of Republican politics.

While debating her opponent she refused to admit that Donald Trump lost the 2020 presidential election, undermining the voting process she simultaneously needs Republicans to participate in. Beholden to the support of those with a cult-like love for Trump, Loeffler is left to do the same song and dance many of her Republican colleagues in both the House and the Senate are participating in — appeasing the rantings of a sore loser to their own debasement in the hopes of maintaining political power. 

A Senator who happily accepts the endorsement of conspiracy theorists, calls BLM protestors “fascists,”  and who was recently investigated by the Justice Department for insider trading related to COVID-19 stock trades she made at the beginning of the ongoing pandemic, embodies what the so-called “law and order” party has become: an extension of a failed businessman-turned-reality-star-turned-impeached-president who uses politics for personal and financial gain.

So while Trump will certainly leave office on January 20, the more robot-than-human politicians he’s normalized are likely to remain.