I Couldn’t Afford Therapy After I Was Laid Off So I Turned On My Xbox

In July 2023, I was laid off from my dream job. I remember the Zoom call like yesterday, the bubble of anxiety in my chest as HR spoke in corporate babble, letting me know my role was eliminated immediately. The way my mind spiraled into a whirlpool of stress and nerves. How my self-confidence slowly deteriorated the longer I went unemployed. The hopelessness I felt after every rejection, every “no,” every “sorry, but you weren’t the right fit.”

My depression felt like existing in a void, where no one could hear me scream or beg for something — anything — to make things better. To reassure my distressed mind that the worst was about to pass and things would return to normal. Things didn’t, of course. It took nine long painful months to find full-time work, and the only thing that kept my sanity together, that kept me from jumping over the (literal) edge, was my Xbox. 

It sounds too absurd to be true. How does a gaming console “cure” depression? Well, it didn’t but gaming did disquiet my emotions in ways no other coping mechanism (like journaling) did. It comforted me, like your favorite blanket as a child or that stuffed animal you couldn’t not sleep with. Playing Assassin’s Creed or The Sims was my way of grieving what I had lost or, really, what was taken from me. See, that’s what people don’t tell you about getting laid off; it’s not just the loss of your income, but *so* much of your identity, too. 

Playing cozy games was my way of coping with loss. I mean, it’s not like I could attend therapy. (When you don’t have consistent income, therapy isn’t considered an essential like housing or food.) So, what do you do? Play games. 

I’m not alone in this either. Research shows that video games offer tons of mental benefits including treatments for depression and anxiety. One 2021 study from Trends Psychology even found that playing casual video games for 20 minutes can help significantly relieve your psychological stress. 

“A cozy game that doesn't stress you out can be a great way to take a break from a hectic day or intrusive thoughts and act as rest and possibly re-energize you for the rest of your day,” Josué Cardona, a licensed therapist and founder of mental health nonprofit Geek Therapy, tells me. “It can improve your mood in the short term depending on how much you enjoy the visuals, sounds, and gameplay.”

During really dark days, I skipped the role-playing and simulation games and opted for something violent like Mortal Kombat because the blood and gore made me feel better. No one would describe Mortal Kombat as “cozy” like they would for Animal Crossing or Unpacking, but for me it was. Fighting games are so satisfying. Something about winning a match (especially after dying in previous rounds!) feels rewarding and just eases my anxiety. It’s like a mini pick-me-up. 

When it comes to cozy games, Cardona says it’s important to know that games marketed as cozy will not always necessarily be comforting to you. For example, Stardew Valley, a life simulation game where you play as a farmer, is considered cozy because it’s low stakes and easy. But, I find farming games uber stressful and kind of like homework. When I first played it, I *literally* made a Stardew Valley textbook, and you can never convince me to return to that life phase again.

Sometimes, the best cozy games are just playing your favorite game on the easiest level and having a nice, fun experience. Or maybe mobile games is your vibe because, yes, those can help too. Smartphone games offer similar psychological benefits to console gaming including relaxation, community engagement, and emotional control, according to a 2018 study. Mobile games are also super accessible and convenient. You don’t need a crazy gaming setup that costs bajillion dollars — just your phone, a charger, and you’re able to play anywhere you go. 

Ultimately, whether it’s mobile, PC, console, or even in-person board games, gaming is a great way to emotionally and mentally feel better. 

Now, should you use gaming as a total replacement for therapy? Umm… perhaps not. Gaming therapy does a lot of things, but it does not help you “process difficult emotions and reach new understandings about life events,” Cardona explains. It’s a solid coping mechanism for feeling better, but it doesn’t help address or heal trauma like a therapist would. Plus, there’s a super fine line between gaming as stress relief and a form of escapism.

I myself have crossed this line many, many, many times. It felt good to bury my emotions in The Sims and distract myself from the dumpster fire that was real life. And that wasn’t totally a bad thing. “Escape, in terms of taking a break and resting or seeking safety, is a necessary part of healing,” Cardona notes. But you can’t escape forever and at some point, you need to address the cause of your pain because it’s not going anywhere. 

I learned that the hard way. I may have felt temporarily better both during and after playing, but my depression didn’t just stop once I powered off my controller. My feelings of worthlessness and suicidality didn’t go *poof* just because I played The Sims for a bajillion hours straight. No, I needed professional health — and yes, I eventually got it. Cardona recommends finding a therapist who offers free or reduced-price services or attending group therapy sessions as they’re often cheaper. “Improved sleep and regular exercise are truly gamechangers when it comes to mental health, and while very difficult, they can be the most affordable means to improve mental health,” he adds. 

But if you are in a situation like I was and can't afford therapy, gaming can help in some form. I know not everyone (most of us, really) has the luxury of seeing a therapist. We have to make do with what we have, which sometimes are games. So, if playing The Last of Us makes you feel better, then dammit go ahead and kill some effing zombies.

It’s been 18 months since I was first laid off and I’ve been laid off again (yes, lol). But I’m okay this go-around. When I feel down because I have my moments, I have my Xbox right next to me for a lil mood booster. If things get super dark, my therapist is on my speed dial. But I don't think I’ll need her — I have my games and they mentally have me.