8 Things You Need To Know This AM — Sep 30 2015

The state of Georgia executed its first woman in 70 years last night. After years of appeals — including a personal call for clemency from Pope Francis, and the continued efforts of her three children — Kelly Gissendaner was executed early this morning. She was on death row for conspiring with her lover to kill her husband in 1997. (Refinery29)

Nicki Minaj is teaming up with ABC Family to develop an autobiographical comedy series; Pretty Little Liars, what’s good? Multiplatinum rapper Nicki Minaj is headed to the small screen, and this time it’s not to terrify Miley Cyrus in front of thousands of hip tweens (though we would willingly watch that for hours). A half-hour sitcom based on Minaj’s childhood in Queens, New York, has received a series commitment from ABC Family. The untitled project, written by Sex Tape’s Kate Angelo, will focus on the rapper’s “vibrant family and the personal and musical evolution that led to her eventual rise to stardom.” Minaj is set to be the executive producer. (Deadline)

Edward Snowden joined Twitter and immediately trolled the NSA. We’d follow him, but we can’t afford to be put on a watchlist. Former government contractor, NSA whisteblower, and current international fugitive, Edward Snowden, is looking to add one more title to his already crowded Wikipedia page: Twitter celeb. Snowden christened his new Twitter handle by only following one other account: the NSA. Sick burn, @Snowden. His first tweet: “Can you hear me now?” (Gizmodo)

The Senate advanced a stopgap spending bill that keeps Planned Parenthood funded and the government operating (at least for a little while). Despite all of the House’s efforts to strip Planned Parenthood of federal funding, the Senate has advanced a spending bill that doesn’t contain a single provision regarding the reproductive healthcare clinic. The bill now enters the House, where it is expected to be approved, especially in the aftermath of Speaker John Boehner’s surprise retirement announcement. Congress must pass a new spending bill before midnight Wednesday or the government will shutdown once again. (CNN)

A poet, a tap dancer, a set designer, a historian, a neuroscientist, and four other badass women all won MacArthur Genius Grants. Eight women have been selected to join the prestigious ranks of MacArthur Fellows, an honor that involves a hefty stipend of $625,000 — doled out over the course of five years — which is intended to free their work from any financial constraints. The 2015 MacArthur class is made up of 24 creators who work in a variety of fields, including everyone’s favorite playwright Lin-Manuel Miranda, writer Ta-Nehisi Coates, and poet Ellen Bryant Voigt. (New York Times)

A New York City Health Department worker was fined for talking to customers like a robot. Guess A.I. Artificial Intelligence references just don’t slay ‘em like they used to. Maybe he IM'ed SmarterChild too often as a child, or listens to an inordinate amount of Daft Punk, but for whatever reason, Ronald Dillon, a longtime city Health Department employee, can’t stop talking in a robot voice. Well, he probably can stop, but he just chooses not to, even when answering calls at the Department’s IT help desk, which is why he now faces a 30-day unpaid suspension. This is the second time Dillon has faced discipline for impersonating a robot. (DNAinfo)

Azealia Banks likened the LGBT community to the KKK. Oh, Azealia Banks — first it took you over two years to drop your debut LP Broke With Expensive Taste which was, in the immortal words of Fergie, "just so 2000 and LATE," and now you can’t stop insulting the only demographic that’s still interested in your career. After LGBT activists and fans criticized the rapper for calling a Delta Airlines attendant a “fucking faggot” during a violent altercation, Banks tweeted some venomous barbs targeting the community. “LGBT community (GGGG) are like the gay white KKK’s,” she wrote in a now-deleted tweet. “Get them some pink hoods and unicorns and rally down rodeo drive.” (The Huffington Post)

The NYPD is looking for a pair of thieves who stole 262 toothbrushes from a Staten Island CVS, even though the real wrongdoers are gingivitis and plaque.

We have no idea what one can even do with 262 toothbrushes, but apparently one Staten Island duo had a plan since they stole around $1,200 in soft bristles and flexing heads from a local CVS. Maybe they plan to clean the world’s largest collection of sneakers? Build one giant toothbrush for the baby they accidentally blew up, à la Wayne Szalinski? Or they need feet for their Scrubbing Bubbles Halloween costumes? Police are still searching for the criminals, and we’re wondering why they didn’t go big and go home with one of those fancy Sonicare toothbrushes. (New York Magazine)