8 Things You Need To Know This AM — Oct 19 2015

A judge ruled that Texas officials can deny birth certificates for the U.S.-born children of some immigrants. According to a federal court decision, new parents who are aspiring U.S. citizens can be denied their child’s birth certificate if they are unable to provide “valid forms of ID” — an arbitrary designation that is itself entrenched in xenophobic and racist policies. Immigrant families were seeking an injunction against Texas’ Vital Statistics Office after employees refused to accept foreign-issued documentation, including passports, as valid identification and denied their children birth certificates. While U.S. District Judge Robert Pitman did acknowledge the danger of denying American-born children their own birth certificates, he ultimately supported the officials’ actions, writing in his decision, “A birth certificate is a vital and important document. As such, Texas has a clear interest in protecting access to that document.” (NPR)

Thousands fled their homes in the northern Philippines as fearsome Typhoon Koppu made landfall.

It is believed that nearly 16,000 residents of the northern Philippines have been displaced by super typhoon Koppu, which touched down near Luzon, the country’s most populous island, on Sunday morning. At least two people have died in the typhoon’s chaos — a 62-year-old woman and a 14-year-old boy — and four have been wounded. The vicious storm slammed the island with nearly 124 mph winds and over six inches of rain in some areas. (BBC News)

Justin Bieber finally addressed those nude pics and claimed what we saw was “shrinkage,” making even the eggplant emoji envious. Justin Bieber wants you to know that those nude photos circulating from his recent vacation in Bora Bora aren’t the whole story. You see, the whole story is much longer, just like the long-range telephoto lens that some paparazzi dude used to capture the intimate pics. “I feel super violated,” Bieber told Access Hollywood. “Like, I feel like I can’t step outside and feel like I can go outside naked. You should feel comfortable in your own space...especially that far away.” Not only are the pictures nonconsensual and a pretty scuzzy invasion of his privacy, they’re also an inaccurate representation of the Bieber family jewels. “That was shrinkage for me,” the singer claimed, causing every woman on the Access Hollywood set to audibly gulp. (The Frisky)

An unidentified gunman opened fire at Florida’s ZombiCon, killing one attendee and wounding four others. Another week, another public shooting that has taken innocent life and devastated an American city: Florida’s ZombiCon, a late-night, zombie-themed street festival in Fort Myers, took an unexpectedly tragic turn after a shooter killed one man and injured four others. The streets were quickly blocked off after the gunfire erupted, but the shooter successfully fled and remains at large. Authorities are asking that any of the thousands of festival goers with photos, videos, or information come forward to help identify the gunman. (Slate)

The organizers behind Governors Ball have launched a petition to stop Coachella’s proposed New York expansion. Guys, guys, guys — calm down! We have enough flower crowns to attend both of you! It’s the East Coast-West Coast rivalry all over again, except this time around, instead of rappers beefing and releasing incredible diss tracks, the opponents are the music festivals that rappers typically headline and their methods are a tad more mundane. The production team behind New York’s Governors Ball, a three-day music festival on Randall’s Island, have taken to change.org to protest AEG Live’s plans to bring Coachella to the Big Apple in June, a mere two weeks after Gov Ball wraps. “The timing of this proposed event is an aggressive, greedy attempt by AEG to push a small, independent company of born and bred New Yorkers out of business and out of the market,” Team Gov Ball wrote. The festival’s promoters hope to reach a goal of 7,500 signatures before forwarding the petition to Mayor de Blasio. (Gothamist)

A Florida couple prolonged a six-hour standoff with SWAT officers in order to have sex “one last time.” So glad to hear that Florida man finally met the Florida woman of his dreams. Back in 1968, Tammy Wynette sang, "Stand by your man.” In 2015, Leanne Hunn of Jacksonville, FL, did just that when sheriffs arrived to take her boyfriend away. Well, she actually laid underneath or on top of her man, but the sentiment’s the same. According to Florida officials, Hunn would not allow police to arrest her paramour, one Ryan Patrick Bautista, who was wanted for multiple outstanding warrants. The couple fortified their mobile home and refused to come out, at one point telling police that they wanted to have sex “one last time.” After over six hours, police forced their way into the home and arrested the lovebirds for the new charges of resisting police and false imprisonment. (Huffington Post)

Notorious drug kingpin El Chapo was injured while narrowly escaping a raid in Mexico. Mexican authorities came close, but El Chapo's cigar isn't mounted on their mantle just yet: Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán somehow managed to eek out another escape after Mexican and U.S. security forces closed in on the drug lord’s hideout in the mountains of northern Mexico. Although he remains free, El Chapo is believed to be injured, acquiring wounds to both his face and leg during his hasty flee. The notorious kingpin has been on the run for four months since escaping a maximum-security prison in Mexico for a second time. (Business Insider)

A well-known mommy blogger allegedly injected her 9-year-old daughter with urine and laxatives. An Australian blogger, who landed advocacy work with numerous children’s health charities due to her writing on her daughter’s genetic illness, has been charged with endangering her daughter by injecting her with urine. After the chronically ill young girl was hospitalized for renal failure, doctors discovered yeast and fungus growing in her intravenous line, a containment that could not occur without outside interference. A police search allegedly uncovered syringes, urine samples, and laxatives in the mother’s bag. Officials say that the girl’s health has improved considerably since she was removed from her mother’s care. (Vice)