A Week In New York City On A $139,000 Salary

Occupation: Director
Industry: Nonprofit
Age: 30
Location: New York City
Salary: $139,000
Assets: $750,000 (mix of investment accounts, retirement accounts, and some savings vehicles like treasury bonds).
Debt: $92,000 (I borrowed money from my parents for grad school and am paying them back slowly, with no interest).
Paycheck amount (2x/month): $3,164
Pronouns: She/her

Housing costs: $2,100
Loan payments: $1,000 (to my parents).
Utilities: $75-$100 (not sure because I just moved to a new apartment, but I’ll be paying for electricity and gas).
Wi-fi: $40
Patreon/donations: $18
Spotify Premium: $2.50 (shared family plan).
HBO Max: $4.99 (shared).
Gym: $10 (there’s a small gym in my building with a fee).
Phone: $0 (my family still pays).
Roth IRA contribution: $1,000
403(b): $1,200 (pre-tax).

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, I grew up in a family that really valued education. Both of my parents have a graduate degree — education was how they were able to immigrate to the US. I always knew I would go to college and I was expected to go to a “good” school. For my undergraduate degree, I received financial aid, did work-study, and my parents covered the rest. For my graduate degree, I paid for part of it out of savings and borrowed money from my parents for the rest.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
To be honest, my parents didn’t talk very much about money at all. They took more of a “we’ll take care of it” approach and so when I became an adult, I felt woefully underprepared to manage my own finances. For the first part of my adult life, my parents would help do my taxes and manage my investment accounts. I’ve been trying to take on more ownership and education myself as I’ve gotten older, but it can feel overwhelming. I’m recognizing the importance of understanding how to manage your money and am getting much more comfortable talking about it and asking for help.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I started tutoring and babysitting early in high school to make extra money but my first “real” job (where I received a W-2) was at a local thrift shop during my senior year in high school. I got it because I wanted to make some extra money and I knew that working was supposed to be good for me.

Did you worry about money growing up?
I didn’t — like I said earlier, my parents didn’t include me very much in any conversations about money so I always assumed we were doing okay. I never thought we were that well-off (we never took big family vacations or ate out) but I never worried about money. Throughout my entire life, both my parents worked full-time, so even when one lost their job or was in between jobs, the other was there to pick it up. My parents also had a very frugal and savings-oriented mentality, which they passed along to me; that was actually a bit debilitating for a while and I’ve had to work hard to get comfortable with spending money.

Do you worry about money now?
Sometimes. Early in my career I made a lot more money but in my late 20s I decided to make a career pivot into nonprofit work, so I know that my long-term earning potential has gone down a lot. Additionally, New York is an expensive city to live in and if I want to have a family someday and send kids to college, I know that’s only going to get more expensive in the future.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I became financially responsible for myself pretty much immediately after college. I got a full-time job right away and was fully supporting myself. I was making good money and was able to pay off any student loans I had pretty quickly. I don’t have a financial safety net beyond my own savings and knowing my parents would help out if I fell on hard times.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
No.

6:45 a.m. — Wake up about 15 minutes before my alarm. I have had a tumultuous relationship with sleep my entire life (as in, I beg it to come back to me and it alternates between ghosting and love-bombing me). The last three days I’ve slept well because I had so much sleep debt built up after a long weekend of travel, so I am disappointed that last night was inconsistent. Shut my eyes for another 15 minutes and get up at 7 a.m.

7 a.m. — I just moved into a new apartment about two weeks ago and it’s my first time living alone! I’m still getting used to it but am so far loving my space. Go through my morning routine (brush teeth, warm lemon water, stretches, emails).

8 a.m. — One enormous perk of my new building is that it has a gym. It’s small but plenty for me. I’ve been trying to lift more and just started a new workout routine by Stephanie Buttermore. Do a 40-minute upper-body workout and tack on five minutes of abs.

9 a.m. — It’s Friday! And the first Friday of fall! I rarely drink coffee but where I cave is Starbucks fall drinks. Splurge on an apple crisp oat milk shaken espresso and refill my Starbucks account while I’m at it ($25 to refill account; $7.02 towards the drink). $25

10 a.m. — Get to work. Fridays are often very busy but this one is relatively light. I’m feeling extra focused thanks to the caffeine and churn through some emails.

1 p.m. — Pause for lunch. My superpower is that I can eat the same meal over and over and not get bored; that plus I’m generally a lazy and inexperienced cook means that I have more or less eaten the same salad for lunch every single day for the last five years.

2:30 p.m. — Have a catchup call with an old coworker so go for a mid-afternoon walk and errands. I lost a nice lipstick recently and I can’t bring myself to spend $40 on a new one, so get a Revlon dupe that I hope will be similar. $5.92

5:30 p.m. — It’s the weekend! Leave work and catch up with an old coworker on my walk home. We chat about work gossip and her grad school drama. Back at home, I unbox some packages and pack up my weekend bag to head to my partner T.’s for the weekend. His place is bigger than mine so I usually spend the weekend there. We both work a lot and don’t get to see each other much during the week, so weekends are precious. $2.90 for the subway. $2.90

7:30 p.m. — Get to T.’s place and we talk about what we want to eat. We’re heading to a friend’s housewarming later where there will be pizza, so don’t want to eat too much. Opt for empanadas from a place around the corner. We get three to share (he pays).

8:30 p.m. — Head to the housewarming and we pick up a six-pack on the way (T. chooses the beer and pays). Our friend’s new apartment is great! You really do get more bang for your buck in Brooklyn. I’ve resisted the idea of moving there (it would make my commute a nightmare) but I’m really starting to see the appeal. We catch up with a few friends, meet some new people, and generally have a great time. $5.80 for the round-trip subway. $5.80

12 a.m. — Leave the party and we both decide that we’re still a little hungry. Swing by McDonald’s and each get a burger; I impulsively also get a chocolate chip cookie. The fast food gods are in a good mood and I get an extra patty and an extra cookie! $9.87

9:30 a.m. — I’ve been awake on and off all night, ugh. T. is still sleeping soundly but his alarm goes off at 9:30 a.m. so we both reluctantly get out of bed. Morning routine, stretch and warm lemon water.

10:30 a.m. — It’s a little gross out today but I’m eager to go for a run since I don’t have access to a gym when I stay at T.’s place. Opt for a short three miles and it is HARD. Not sure if it was the poor sleep or being a little hungry but I am feeling that run. Stop by Trader Joe’s to pick up something simple for lunch (pre-packaged salad and a yogurt) as well as a dessert to bring to another friend’s housewarming this afternoon. $14.35

11:30 a.m. — Back at T.’s. Shower and eat lunch. I’m starting a new book, The Body Keeps The Score. It’s for my book club and while I was initially excited about it, my friend told me that she wasn’t loving it and when she looked it up, a lot of it had been debunked as pseudoscience :( Make it about three chapters in and I’m feeling lukewarm — the writing isn’t the most compelling. But I do like the topic and I can appreciate that the author began working decades ago when there weren’t treatments for PTSD and trauma.

1:30 p.m. — It’s a really beautiful day in NYC so I decide to walk to my friend’s housewarming. I love walking so an hour-long walk is actually very appealing, especially to enjoy the fall weather and watch the tourists. I love New York and it’s fun to see people who are experiencing it for the first time. Get to my friend’s new apartment. It’s INCREDIBLE. A giant two-bed, two-bath loft with a patio?! She and her boyfriend both work in finance so I shouldn’t be surprised but I’m still a little stunned by how much space they have in Manhattan. Spend some time catching up with her and other friends. Take the subway back to T.’s. $2.90

5:30 p.m. — It’s date night! T. just closed a huge deal at work so I’m taking him out to celebrate. He’s been incredibly busy the last month and is leaving for a two-week trip tomorrow, so we are also overdue for a date night. We both dress up and pop a nice bottle of champagne we’ve been saving for a special occasion. We spend a little too much time hanging out and drinking champagne and end up running a little late. Thankfully the subway is a quick ride. $2.90

7:30 p.m. — We have a lovely meal at a Japanese restaurant, with fun vibes and good drinks. We chat about work, his upcoming trip, and the food, and overall have a great time. I pay. $251.30

10 p.m. — The night isn’t over yet— we decide to walk back and grab a drink along the way. End up at a divey place right by him, he has a beer and I have a glass of wine. By now we’re both pretty tipsy and talk a bit effusively about how lucky we feel to be together. I was in a long-term relationship for most of my 20s that ended two years ago, and I didn’t even realize it was possible to be with someone I respect and trust so much. T. pays and we head back to his place.

11 p.m. — We both love dessert and when we get home, I offer to DoorDash us ice cream. We eat it with some Netflix and cuddle on the couch. We are exhausted and fall asleep at midnight. $11.83

9 a.m. — Very sad to get out of bed today, and pretty tired. That day after drinking is tough now. I chill for the morning. T. goes to the gym and when he comes back, we go out for a quick lunch. We find a neighborhood Thai spot. I get khao soi, he gets drunken noodles; neither of us is particularly impressed but the food comes quickly and it’s pretty cheap. T. pays.

1 p.m. — We say a very sad goodbye to each other. Sundays are always a bummer and this one is especially sad knowing it’ll be two weeks until we see each other again. I pick up a poke bowl for dinner later ($10.83) and then hop on the train to head to a friend’s place ($2.90). $13.73

1:30 p.m. — I joined a hobby band earlier this year. Band is a strong word for it, but my best friend’s boyfriend and one of his friends jam together regularly and had been looking for a singer. I love to sing so I teamed up with them earlier this year and we’ve had a great time playing together. The three of us even performed at a friend’s party back in the spring! This is our first practice in a while so we’re a bit rusty but we’re hoping to perform at another friend’s party in two months, which is good motivation.

4:30 p.m. — It’s a beautiful fall day and like I said, I’m a bit obsessed with walking, so I decide to take a long walk back home through Central Park. Stop for ice cream on the way ($7) because even though the temperature’s dropping, it’s always a good time for ice cream. Central Park is absolutely gorgeous and there are tons of people out right now. During my walk I call a friend who I haven’t spoken to in a while and there is NEWS. He shares that he is planning to propose to his partner soon and that they just closed on a house together! I am exuberant with my congratulations. $7

6 p.m. — Meet someone from FB Marketplace who is selling most of her apartment. End up buying a ton of stuff (pots, pans, an immersion blender, kitchen knife, cutting boards, extension cord, lightbulbs, etc…). Get it all for $100, which is a steal considering I got about 20 items. I love the circular economy. I’m grateful that she lives on the same train line as me and I hop on the subway to finally go home ($2.90). $102.90

7 p.m. — Get home and unpack from the weekend, plus open up an Amazon package. I swear I usually don’t buy this much but I’m still in the process of furnishing my apartment. While I usually don’t buy a lot from Amazon, it is just so convenient for household items and their return policy is great. For example, I open up a bath mat and it is laughably small. I return it and buy another one, plus a few other random items like measuring cups and Command hooks. $31.83 (including the return amount).

8 p.m. — Eat my poke bowl and watch Indian Matchmaking. I’m very late to the game, but I just got access to my friend’s Netflix so I’m trying some new shows.

9 p.m. — I put a spending freeze on myself while I was moving but now that I’m mostly settled, I can tell I’m probably going to come in under budget, so I’m eyeing a new purse. There’s one I’ve been thinking about for a while now and I decide to take the plunge. It’s a Songmont Luna bag and I use a 10% off welcome offer. $341.97

10 p.m. — Time for bed! I wash up, do some yoga and read a bit in bed. I try to be meticulous about my evening routine since I have difficulty sleeping. I’m exhausted from the weekend so I fall asleep pretty easily.

7 a.m. — Wake up pretty naturally around 7 a.m. but am SO TIRED. Decide I can work out after work instead, and let myself go back to sleep for another hour.

8 a.m. — Get out of bed and go through the same morning routine, then head to work.

1 p.m. — I have an Ob/Gyn appointment today. I had an abnormal pap smear recently so I need a follow-up colposcopy. I’m a little nervous but my Ob/Gyn said it wasn’t an emergency. I have a $40 copay (prepaid). Take the subway there. $2.90

1:30 p.m. — That was not what I was expecting. I genuinely thought that I’d go in for the colposcopy and she’d tell me it was nothing and I could just go back to work like normal. Turns out I have HPV. I’m stunned. In the moment I can’t quite process what it means. My Ob/Gyn isn’t making me feel any better and I get out of there as quickly as possible.

2:30 p.m. — The last hour has been a blur. I spent 30 minutes on the phone with my best friend, talking through the diagnosis. She offers a lot of reassurance and I feel much better after the conversation. I desperately wish I could talk to T. but he’s on a flight right now. I take the rest of the day off work.

3 p.m. — I am starving, I haven’t eaten anything all day. Go to Naya, a fast casual Mediterranean spot, and get a big bowl with salad, rice, chicken and all the toppings. Sit in an outdoor plaza to eat. $14.14

4 p.m. — Have I mentioned how much of a sweet tooth I have? If there is any occasion that calls for dessert, this is one of them. I’m close to Sprinkles Cupcakes so I pick up one of their new cookie parfaits that I’ve been wanting to try. They used to have this incredible chocolate peanut butter cupcake (my favorite flavor combination). It’s no longer on the menu but they have a chocolate peanut butter cookie parfait now, which will do. $6.95

4:15 p.m. — Remember how much I like to walk? I once again take the long way home and walk through Central Park. Being in the park always gives me such gratitude to live in a city where I can be surrounded by so much life and still find space for peace and beauty. My walk takes me by the zoo (where I spy a few seals!), Belvedere Castle, and the reservoir (my favorite part of the park). By the time I reach home, I’m feeling much more settled. This diagnosis is definitely not good news but I’m going to be okay, and I still have so much to be grateful for.

6 p.m. — Swing by CVS on my way home to pick up Gorilla Glue and Häagen-Dazs ice cream. Use some coupons. $6.68

7 p.m. — It’s a coincidence but good timing that I actually have therapy today. I hop onto Zoom and we spend the entire hour discussing my HPV diagnosis. We unpack the shame I initially felt (and still feel — even saying/typing that I have an STI feels hard), the fear that this could be cervical cancer, the discomfort I have with my Ob/Gyn (I felt a lot of judgment and impatience from her the entire visit), the anger I feel that this is happening to me, and the anxiety I have about telling my partner. Oh, and I haven’t mentioned this yet, but my period is about a week late and I am desperately trying not to be too stressed about it. I’ve been working with my therapist for almost two years now and she understands me very well. Another thing I am grateful for. $40 (copay).

8 p.m. — Say goodbye to my therapist and immediately jump back into real life. I’m selling some furniture that doesn’t fit well into my new apartment, and buzz up someone who is buying a side table and a lamp. I make $35, which isn’t too bad!

8:30 p.m. — Despite generally eating healthy, as I said I have a huge weakness for dessert, and end up having my cookie parfait with ice cream for dinner. Meanwhile, continue to google “what to do if you’re diagnosed with HPV,” “how to talk to a partner about HPV,” etc. Thankfully it doesn’t seem too bad. HPV is very common and the likelihood that it is serious and would require a procedure is relatively small. Unfortunately there are no real symptoms (unless it’s the kind with warts, which this isn’t) or treatment and I just need to wait for it to resolve on its own. Also stunning — there is no test or treatment for men! So any male partner I have would just need to assume he has it, but could never verify. Yet another area where there is so much disparity between men’s and women’s healthcare.

10:30 p.m. — Time for bed, I’m exhausted. Go through my evening routine a bit mechanically and fall asleep.

7 a.m. — My alarm goes off. I just restarted using my sunrise alarm clock, which I normally only have on in the winter but my new apartment doesn’t have the best natural light, so I’m trying to see if this helps. I slept pretty well and am feeling well rested. Go through my morning routine and brace myself for a busy day at work.

8:30 a.m. — Tuesdays are my day to open the office so I usually get there around 8:30 a.m. Even though it sucks skipping my morning workout, I do like getting to the office early when it’s quiet and I can get a lot of work done.

12:30 p.m. — Phew — the morning has flown by, I’ve been back to back in meetings. Take a break for lunch and eat my usual salad. I’m going to need to meal prep this weekend.

4 p.m. — Done with meetings for the day! Tuesdays are always a busy day of meetings. Today I also had a first round interview and the candidate was good. She seems a little young but has great energy and relevant experience. I’m excited to move her on to the second round.

6 p.m. — Wrap up work and head out for the day. I swing by Trader Joe’s for groceries. It’s a little bit out of my way, but I’ve been stuck at my desk all day so don’t mind the extra walk. They just opened up a new Trader Joe’s in Harlem and it has been such a blessing — and personally, I think it’s the best Trader Joe’s I’ve been to in Manhattan. It’s spacious with tons of checkout counters. Even at this hour it only takes me 10 minutes to get in and out. I just need some veggies so I pick up a zucchini, mushrooms, onion, kale, and cottage cheese. $14.84

6:30 p.m. — Get home and head to the gym for a lower-body workout. I’m surprised at how much energy I feel. It’s been a few days since I’ve gotten to the gym and I’m glad to be back on my schedule. Some normalcy feels good.

8 p.m. — Cook a simple dinner (stir-fry the veggies with some leftover tofu and rice) and eat it while watching Indian Matchmaking. Also unpack yet another Amazon delivery — I think this will be the last for a while! I got dishwasher detergent, a power strip, and a food scale.

9 p.m. — There’s always so much to do for a new apartment. It seems like every evening I’m still setting up something small. Tonight it’s my spice rack.

10:30 p.m. — I take some time tonight to journal now that I’ve had a full day since the diagnosis. I’m still feeling very stressed about my period (by now it’s 11 days late) and I’m figuring out how to process all the emotions and uncertainty. I’ve also generally been feeling fatigued the last few weeks, in a way that seems unusual for me, and I’m not sure if that could be related to either condition or if it’s all just stress-induced from the move and work.

4 a.m. — Wake up in the middle of the night. While that isn’t unusual, you know when you have that women’s intuition… I creep to the bathroom and HALLELUJAH, my period has come. Nearly cry with relief sitting on the toilet. Stick a pad in my underwear and giddily head back to bed. Treat myself to some scrolling on my phone, which is a terrible habit but I’m feeling a little too energized to sleep.

7 a.m. — Wake up properly and it is a good day! Go through my morning routine and head to my gym for an upper-body workout. Then shower, change, and walk to work. It’s sunny and not too hot so I feel like the entire world is in a good mood.

12:30 p.m. — It’s been a full morning! I’m feeling incredibly productive and have gotten through some good strategy planning. Ready for a lunch break. I have my meal-prepped salad and spend some time texting my best friend about fertility. It’s on both of our minds right now because we both had late periods/pregnancy scares this week. I’m now thinking about getting my fertility tested just to have more information.

1:30 p.m. — My department is a new initiative that our organization is investing a lot of resources into, but because of that we’ve grown very quickly and have definitely experienced growing pains. To work on that, we’ve hired an external consultant for team culture. As a director, I have monthly 1:1 leadership coaching sessions with her. Today is my first session and it is awesome — I leave feeling inspired and optimistic, with renewed excitement about my role and the future of our team.

3 p.m. — Head home a little early because my super is coming by to help me install a few things in the apartment. My apartment is great but it is tiny and needs more storage, so I bought a set of sliding drawers and a floating shelf. He helps install them (and also takes a look at my toilet, which has been having some issues). My super is great and has already been so helpful. Chat with him as he works. After he leaves, I start organizing things into the drawers and on the shelf and am unreasonably pleased with how it’s turning out.

5:30 p.m. — Done for the work day. I’m meeting up with two good friends tonight for an evening run and hangout. The Central Park lower loop is a perfect two-mile post-work shakeout with plenty of casual dinner options nearby. After our run, we go to Whole Foods for its hot bar. We spend a wonderful two hours catching up, talking about recent travels and the new guy my friend is dating. $5.80 for the round-trip subway; $25.02 for dinner. $30.82

9:30 p.m. — Back home and I’m ready for bed. Evening routine and it’s lights out by 10:30 p.m.

7 a.m. — Wake up to my alarm and feel pretty well rested. Linger in bed briefly before getting up.

7:10 a.m. — My colposcopy biopsy results are back. It’s not good. I’m shaking as I read the results, trying to understand what’s going on. My doctor hasn’t reviewed it yet, but I’m literate enough to google my results and realize that it’s the bad kind of infection. The kind that needs surgery. I text my best friend the results and go down the WebMD rabbit hole.

8:30 a.m. — My best friend calls me frantic. She’s also in disbelief that the biopsy came back positive. We had both convinced ourselves on the phone earlier this week that it was likely nothing, a low-grade infection that would just need monitoring. To be honest I had been doing okay for the last hour, forcing myself to think about it clinically. But as soon as I hear her voice, I start sobbing. We spend almost an hour on the phone together. I am scared, anxious, angry, but by the end of it, hopeful. She tells me that she’ll be at my procedure and will take care of me afterwards. I hang up and feel all shaky but deeply loved. I had been planning to do a lower-body workout but don’t feel quite up for intense lifting so do a quick two-mile run on the treadmill instead, just enough to shake out some energy.

10 a.m. — My Ob/Gyn calls. We talk briefly, just enough to verify that I will need a procedure. It’s called a LEEP to remove the infected cells. It’s an outpatient procedure with a supposed high success rate. I try to ask more questions but she needs to get to another appointment. She says she’ll send me some materials to read over.

10:30 a.m. — Head to work, a little later than usual but I think if there is any day I can give myself grace, it’s today. Decide I’m going to try and just focus on work for the rest of the day and worry about the procedure tonight.

11:30 a.m. — I have been going back and forth on whether to tell T. or wait until he’s back to talk about it in person. However, given today’s results, I decide it’s important enough that I can't wait another week. I shoot him a text asking if he’s able to do a phone call and offer some times (he’s on the other side of the world so we need to coordinate time zones). He replies immediately and knows something is up. I had been hoping to wait until after work but I think he’s worried and it’d be better just to have the conversation. I step out of the office and call him.

12:30 p.m. — It was a hard conversation but he handled it really well and kindly. I feel lucky and grateful to have a partner that prioritizes and cares about me. Even if he’s not always the most forthright with his emotions, I can tell that he’s worried about me and just trying to be supportive. Despite how terribly I feel about this diagnosis, I’m grateful that it’s shown me how much the people in my life truly love me.

12:45 p.m. — Today is another team member’s last day so I take him out for lunch. We head to a little Mexican spot right by our office. We eat tostadas and have some real talk about the people on our team and team culture. I pay. $20.38

2 p.m. — I head into meetings for the rest of the day and it crawls by. By the time 4:30 p.m. rolls around I am exhausted and my eyes feel so sore and dry, likely from all the crying. But I still have so much work to do so I try to push through.

6:30 p.m. — I’m the last person in the office and I decide it is high time I left. I leave and take a big deep breath. It’s time to tell my parents about my diagnosis. I go for a long walk around the neighborhood and call my mom, my dad, and my sister. They each react as expected — my mom is uncertain and wants to read more about it, but she says she thinks it will be okay and tells me not to worry. My dad is confused and clearly flustered. My sister is a doctor and is calm and sweet, saying that even though she isn’t a gynecologist, from what she’s heard LEEP is a common and safe procedure, and she’s hopeful we’ve caught it early. After about an hour on the phone, I’m finally home. Exhausted but proud of myself for handling so many hard conversations.

8 p.m. — I heat up leftovers for dinner and say a silent thank you to my past self for making two servings. I have also ordered myself some nice dessert. A while ago, Magnolia Bakery had a really yummy-sounding peanut butter and chocolate banana pudding special that I missed out on but they just brought it back as a special DoorDash exclusive! Settle down with dinner, dessert, and Indian Matchmaking. With all the twists and turns of this week, this at least feels consistent. $18.85

10 p.m. — What a week. When I started writing this diary a week ago, I thought it would be a fun way to journal what I anticipated would be a pretty typical week. Little did I know. If this week has taught me anything, it’s that you can’t predict the future or assume anything. But it’s also helped me remember how lucky I am and how grateful I should be for the life I have. I am so fortunate to have my health (in general), my family, and my friends. It’s been a good reminder for me that when times are hard, seek love and stay grateful. And make sure you’re going to the doctor and getting regular checkups! I go through my evening routine and go to bed.