Catalog Psychic: Your Life According To The J.Crew Style Guide

The J.Crew catalog — er, excuse us — Style Guide is a reliable source for so many life-giving things: bejeweled baseball caps, messy-hair and matte-lip envy, and creative directors named Holden who feel strongly that suits should be worn with gym shoes and no socks. But, did you know that the Style Guide could also give you eerily accurate insights into your life right this moment?

Oh, yes. There is truth in these statement-jewel-and-sequin-splashed pages, dears! Ahead, we take a glimpse into your holiday life, according to the J.Crew Style Guide. Get ready for a whole lot of tomboy plaids, cheekbone highlighter, and colorblocked cashmere — and, more importantly, what it all says about you.