A Week In New York On A $105,000 Salary

Occupation: Marketing manager
Industry: Marketing
Age: 31
Location: New York, NY
Salary: $105,000
Joint income: Me and my partner are in a long term committed relationship but we are not yet married so we keep our finances separate for now and do our monthly budgets together since we do live together. This was one of my goals for us to become more accountable and transparent with our finances/spending. Combined, our joint income is about $195,000. My partner paid for a good amount of expenses throughout this week but they are not ALL of his expenses — just the activities we did together — and the assets and all other monthly expenses only reflect mine, so in the interests of accuracy I submitted my diary under my salary, rather than our joint income.
Assets: Checking account: $934; savings account: $300; HYSA: $43,000; retirement accounts (traditional/Roth IRAs, 401(k)s): $130,000; brokerage accounts: $30,000.
Debt: Student loans: $8,000
Paycheck Amount (Every 2 Weeks): $2,225.75
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing Costs: Since my partner and I make similar incomes, we split rent evenly down the middle. My portion is $1,425.
Loan Payments: $203.03 for my student loans.
Health Insurance Premiums: $140 for medical, dental, vision.
FSA Contribution: $188.
401(k) Contribution: $807.
Utilities: $70-$150 (depending on the season). I cover electricity and gas while my partner covers our internet bill.
Cell Phone: This comes out to ~$23/month but I prepay an upfront amount twice a year with my carrier in order to save more.

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Absolutely. Coming from an immigrant family, this was a must — it was drilled into my brain from a young age that I needed to get good grades in order to get into a prestigious university. I went to an expensive private university so I am still paying off my student loans, but I also received financial assistance in the form of scholarships and grants.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Like many other Asian immigrant families, my parents were in the restaurant business growing up, so they were not well educated in terms of personal finance. We weren’t well-off, especially compared to my white friends growing up in the suburbs, but we always had food on the table and a roof over our heads. While we rarely ate out or went on vacations, my parents did splurge to send me to some leadership conferences during my high school years. They taught me hard work and the value of a dollar: they consistently worked 12-hour days with no days off (or possibly one rest day a week, max). Everything I’ve learned about investing (401(k)s, Roth IRAs, ESPPs), I’ve had to learn on my own, but they did instill in me frugality and not spending above my means. To this day, I still struggle with the scarcity mindset that was instilled in me from such a young age — even though I am making more money than my parents ever had.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was working in my parents’ Chinese take-out restaurant from a very young age — I was maybe 10 or 11 years old. Many (white) customers would insist that my parents were abusing me with child labor, but this is in fact very common within the community and honestly the only way we could get by. I resented my parents for this when I was younger as I didn’t have the weekends to myself other than to study/do homework, but now as an adult I realized that they did the best they could with what they had.

Did you worry about money growing up?
Not really. My parents always made sure that I was fed, had a roof over my head and clothes and one pair of sneakers for school. I’m sure they went through rough patches here and there — running a business on their own then later selling that business — but I never felt the ramifications of that as a child. I would save money I earned in tips and as I got older, my parents did pay me a wage for working in the restaurant, so I always had money to spend or put away in a savings account for my future.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes. Even though I am financially independent and started saving for retirement and investing as soon as I could in my adult life, I am traumatized by experiencing two layoffs in a row and dipping so much into my emergency fund/sinking funds for my future goals that me and my partner feel like we may have to push back our timelines without help from family. We also live in a HCOL city and have had to move to the outer boroughs in the “less desirable” neighborhoods in order to save on housing costs.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I became financially responsible for myself once I graduated from college at 21. I did live at home rent free for two years until I was 23 but I paid all my bills on my own. My financial safety net is my own savings/investments that I’ve accumulated and I’m sure my partner would help support me if things got really bad.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
No.

8:30 a.m. — I wake up for the last-minute meeting with HR that my manager put on my calendar. There’s been a pit in my stomach ever since I saw the invitees on the meeting invite, given I just started a few months ago after a year of unemployment (I was laid off from my previous role last year). My meeting starts right on time and when I enter it, I already know what it is. My manager and HR are both there; the HR lady starts by telling me my position has been eliminated as of today due to business needs and a team restructure from upper management. I’m shocked in the moment but honestly also feel relieved and anxious at the same time as I’ve definitely not been happy in the role recently. I take the news as graciously as I can and thank both my manager and HR representative for the opportunity and sign off for the rest of the day.

1 p.m. — I tell my boyfriend, T., the news. It’s a tough situation for us as we just relived this months ago. Since I was told I no longer needed to work for the day, I make sure all my personal information is up to date on my files and log off. My access on my machine is revoked almost immediately. I make T. and me French toast for brunch, then we watch a new episode of Love is Blind to get our minds off of the events of the day.

5 p.m. — T. and I take a walk to a nearby park to get some fresh air and our steps in. He takes me out to dinner to try the new Korean restaurant that just opened up across the street in an effort to cheer me up. The waiter is hilarious and does put us in a lighter mood. We ordered a BBQ/tofu stew combo and an order of dumplings. Once we see the banchan (Korean side dishes), we realize we’ve over ordered and end up taking some of the tofu stew home. Dinner comes out to $85 (T. pays).

8 p.m. — We drop off the leftovers at home and T. offers to go get dessert. We end up at a new neighborhood café we haven’t tried. We order a mango bingsoo (shaved ice) with mochi, mangoes and condensed milk. The dessert is hefty and the total comes out to $21 (T. pays).

9:30 a.m. — I try to sleep in but my body is still used to waking up at this time for work. I check my text messages and get out of bed, do my morning routine of washing my face and applying serum, eye cream, and a moisturizing sunscreen. I also brush my teeth and do a nasal saline rinse. I’ve been seeing a specialist about a chronic allergy I’m experiencing, and the nasal rinses really help. I put away the dishes in the dishwasher, make some ginseng tea and a chia seed pudding fruit and yoghurt bowl for T. to have for breakfast after his calls. I don’t really have much of an appetite and sip on my ginseng tea. Then we watch another episode of Love is Blind and I take a nap on the couch.

2 p.m. — I decide to take a walk to a nearby café to clear my head and treat myself to a matcha latte and new pastry I’ve been wanting to try. I hang out at the café for a bit, text one of my friends to check in on her and share my latest life update. I also spend some time researching doing a completely different pivot in my career and learning something new like coding. I also Instagram scroll for a bit and check my emails. I then go for a stroll at the nearby park before heading home. $13.61

5 p.m. — I prep some salmon for dinner and let it marinate while I attend a coaching masterclass training from a career coach I’ve been following for a while now. The last 20 minutes of it is spent selling her course, but it has interesting points in the beginning to help me do some inner self-discovery work on what’s next for me. I make T. and me salmon, rice, and veggie bowls for dinner as we watch more of Love is Blind.

7 p.m. — T. gets a hankering for doughnuts for dessert, so we take a walk to the nearest Dunkin’ and pick out three doughnuts. It comes out to $5.67 and T. pays. We spend the rest of the night watching the Mets game, football, and Tell Me Lies.

11 a.m. — I wake up from the construction outside my building but am grateful to be able to sleep in as I’ve never been a morning person. I do my morning skincare routine and make ginseng tea. I have a craving for dim sum for brunch so I walk to the nearest dim sum restaurant and get takeout for us. I over-order at the takeout counter as always, so we end up eating about half of the dishes and saving the rest for leftovers. Some of the dim sum dishes we devour include pork and shrimp shu mai, matcha lava buns, steamed fish balls, and chive and shrimp dumplings. $44.20

5 p.m. — After spending the afternoon updating my LinkedIn profile, doing a load of laundry and attending a free Talkspace therapy session, T. takes me to get our nails done as another way of treating me and getting my mind off things after the shitty week I’ve had. He’s honestly the sweetest person and I’m so fortunate to have him in my life. All the Chinese ladies at the salon gush over how handsome and kind he is after interrogating me about our interracial relationship. I find it kind of amusing and try practicing my Mandarin to chit chat with the ladies as they do my nails. It comes out to $28.31 plus a $10 tip; T. pays.

7 p.m. — I make a chicken tikka masala with some defrosted chicken in the fridge and a jar of simmer sauce that’s been sitting in my pantry. I’ve been trying to experiment with cooking more Indian food at home from scratch but tonight is not one of those nights. We have it with a side of rice and scallion pancakes to substitute for naan. It’s surprisingly good as the texture is very similar to paratha (another Indian appetizer). We watch a rom-com on Amazon Prime and finish putting away laundry that has been in the dryer for too long, do the dishes, shower and call it a night.

9:30 a.m. — I wake up and check my phone to find my friends are planning on getting lunch in Jersey City before heading to a soccer game we got free tickets for. I look up how to get there, then slowly start getting ready. I do my skincare routine and nasal rinse, brush my teeth, throw on my new cargo pants (I recently purchased these from Old Navy for $15, they’re so comfy and such a steal), a crop top, and fun matching New Balance sneakers and head out. I purchase the first train ticket and then a single ride PATH ticket for the journey. $7.75

1 p.m. — I meet up with my friend outside of the PATH station in Jersey City and we head to the first stop on our Indian food tour in India Square (more Indian food for me, but I can’t complain — I can never get sick of Indian food). While we wait for our other two friends to arrive, we make our way over and try to find a good spot to get a snack at because I was starving. We stop at this hole-in-the-wall bakery and I get a vegetarian samosa with a bottle of water. $4.40

2 p.m. — Our friends arrive and we head across the street to the next restaurant we agreed to meet at — it’s such a cute and colorful restaurant with a lot of offerings, but my friends really want to try the panipurri, an Indian dessert. They gave us a token for an order of six and we each try a flavor or two. I’ve never had one before — it’s certainly an acquired taste. I have a guava and mango but the texture is a little weird, with the combination of sweet and savory with potato and mango chutney with the sweet liquid. I also have a hard time eating it all in one bite... The struggle is real. My friend pays and will venmo request us for our share. We head back across the street to another spot I saw on Yelp and want to try. We order a vegetarian grilled cheese pressed sandwich and a volcano biryani that consisted of eggs and cheese. The sandwich was so good and definitely an interesting take. $9.61

4 p.m. — Onto the next spot to get fresh dosa on our food tour! This is my first time trying dosa and it is really good — fresh, with a soft chewy texture. We order one to share amongst the four of us and it’s huge. Then we head to the last spot to get chicken biryani, a samosa and Kashmir chai lattes. One of our friends has tapped out by this point, so it’s just the three of us eating. The biryani IS really solid here and I end up finishing the dish as one by one, my friends tap out. $12.01

6 p.m. — We take a walk over to the waterfront and stop along the way to look at local vendors at a street fair, get bubble tea (I was getting thirsty and feeling dehydrated) and sitting breaks. The walk is only supposed to take 40 minutes but it took us closer to two hours. $7.20

7 p.m. — We grab seats along the riverside to catch views of the Manhattan skyline during sunset and then head to take the train to the game. We end up missing our train by one minute and have to wait another 35 minutes for the next one to arrive... Gotta love weekend trains. $2.75

9:30 p.m. — My first professional soccer game is a success! I wasn’t expecting it to be so exciting but we score five goals in the second half and sweep the other team 6-1. It’s also nice to watch and support professional women's sports. We head out to catch the PATH train back into the city and once we’re back in Manhattan, we split up into groups to commute back home together based on where we live. I take the train back with my friends who live near me. $5.65

11:30 p.m. — I’m finally home. That was my once-a-year trip to Jersey and I’m good for the rest of the year. I shower, wash my hair and catch up with T. on our respective days. He then gets hungry and goes to get us fried chicken from our favorite chicken shop. which is always sooo good. It comes out to $24.48 and T. pays.

8:30 a.m. — I wake up to pee and notice I’ve got a text from my cousin telling me her, my aunt, and parents have arrived safely back in New York after their cruise to Bermuda. I text her back and ask how the trip was, a little jealous that I wasn’t able to go on the family trip (another reason why we should all prioritize family over work). I try going back to bed but can’t sleep so I end up scrolling and posting content from yesterday on IG. I force myself to go back to bed for a bit before T. wakes up. I do my skincare routine and nasal rinse, then make ginseng tea for us as T. watches the Jets game. Then I heat up some leftover dim sum and make some stir-fry bok choy (I desperately need vegetables) for brunch. My stomach is also not loving the fried chicken and Indian food from yesterday — I’m running to the bathroom all morning. HELP.

1 p.m. — It’s a beautiful day out so we decide to go to the park nearby and play some tennis and basketball. After we get our workout in, T. is craving a smoothie so we head to a bubble tea/smoothie shop we’ve been wanting to try. They specialize in yogurt smoothies and it’s delicious. T. gets a strawberry banana and I get a matcha lychee. The total comes to $16.55 and T. treats. 

4 p.m. — We get home just in time to watch the Mets game. I put some stuff up on Poshmark that I’ve been wanting to sell then take a nap, but am woken up by T.’s screaming (he is very passionate about the Mets). It’s a leftovers kinda night so we heat up some lasagne soup and the fried chicken from last night for dinner. The Mets end up losing so I let T. choose what movies/shows to watch for the rest of the night. He picks a scary movie and Marvel so I end up doing some research on hotels and excursions for our upcoming trips to Puerto Rico and Japan in the background. I get overwhelmed and ask him to do our budgets for the prior month instead. I get pretty anxious looking at our spending and costs for our upcoming vacations knowing I will be dipping into my savings to fund this. I try to calm myself down and tell myself we deserve this. Then I do the dishes, wash up, and get ready for bed. We watch a few episodes of a murder-crime docuseries before knocking out.

11 a.m. — I take advantage of being able to sleep in on my first Monday funemployed again. I’m exhausted and my body is pretty sore from all the activity this weekend so I let my body rest. I check my texts, emails and IG scroll in bed for a while. I decide to place a pick-up order for short-stack pancakes at iHOP using the loyalty rewards I have left in my account. I finally get up to do my skincare routine, nasal rinse, and brush my teeth. I start boiling ginseng tea on the stove and head out to pick up the pancakes — it’s a beautiful day out for a walk. I get home and serve the pancakes to T. — who is starving at this point — and also make cheesy scrambled eggs and chicken sausages.

3 p.m. — I sit down to complete a few tasks on my to-do list that I’ve been putting off such as applying for unemployment benefits. This takes me longer than expected and I am mentally exhausted by the end of it. I call my doctor’s office to attempt to get another birth control prescription before my health insurance expires at the end of the month and also call European Wax Center to cancel the Wax Pass I just purchased two weeks ago.

5 p.m. — T. and I couch-potato watching Ted until it’s dinner time. More leftovers from our fridge for dinner tonight — we are trying our best to clear out the fridge before doing another Costco haul. I heat up leftover Korean tofu stew for me and chicken with white rice, a tea egg, and side of bok choy for T.

11 a.m. — I sleep in once again and get up to do my skincare routine and brush my teeth. I boil a pot of water to make my own saline solution so I can rinse my nose later. I have some leftover chia seed pudding in the fridge, so I eat that with kiwis, peanut butter, and cinnamon for breakfast. T. takes a bite and makes a tuna melt for himself. I’m trying to eat more plant-forward but it’s been a struggle.

1 p.m. — I finally get around to updating my résumé and applying to a handful of jobs that look interesting. I decide I should eat an actual meal, so I make myself a vegetarian noodle soup with cabbage, tofu puffs, veggie “fishballs” and a tea egg. Then T. and I head out to a bar to meet our friends to watch the Mets playoff game. We decide to walk and take a bus there instead of doing multiple transfers. $2.90

5 p.m. — We meet up with our friends and another group of their friends at a chicken and beer spot to watch the game. We order a bunch of Korean fried chicken, apps, budaejigae, bulgogi quesadillas and beers for the table. It was a great game and the Mets swept the Phillies in game 3 of the series, go Mets!! The total comes out to $36 per person for the food and drinks. $36

10 p.m. — I’m super full but my friends are craving something sweet so we head to a coffee and dessert shop before we head home. T. orders a matcha cookies-and-cream croffle and an iced Americano latte for us to share. It comes out to $21.21 and T. pays.