How To Play With Your Partner’s Prostate

People born with a penis are also born with a prostate — a walnut-shaped gland wrapped around the urethral canal. It’s often compared to the G-spot, because the prostate's location is in a similar location inside the body — and both can feel amazing when stimulated. People of all sexual orientations love prostate play, which makes sense, because it can lead to intense pleasure and orgasms.

Massaging the prostate to orgasm is sometimes called “prostate milking.” People with prostates can do this alone or with a partner, using either fingers or a sex toy. Prostate milking “provides a full-body orgasm, versus a penile orgasm, which is strictly genital-based,” We-Vibe’s sex expert, Dr. Chris Donaghue, tells Refinery29.  

There are many reasons why someone might try prostate milking. “Exploring prostate stimulation has psychological, biological, and sexual health benefits,” Dr. Donaghue says. “When the anal area is shunned, it becomes constricted and tense, and avoidance of this area leads to shutting down other connected areas in the pelvis, which creates sexual issues with erections and ejaculation.”

That’s right: prostate milking can lead to stronger erections and orgasms. There are also many other sexual health benefits. “Prostate milking helps flush out the prostate, increases blood flow to the pelvic area, and strengthens pelvic floor muscles,” Dr. Donaghue says.

But most people who love prostate milking do so simply because of how it feels. “The biggest reason for exploring the prostate is to unlock higher arousal and levels of pleasure,” Dr. Donaghue says. “The prostate is a man’s most direct access point to explosive orgasms — orgasms that are longer, hotter, and can lead to the ability to have multiple orgasms.”

Megwyn White, Somatic Sensuality Guide and Director of Education at Satisfyer, adds that prostate milking has additional health benefits. Along with enhancing sexual pleasure and orgasms, it can “release blockages and improve flow of urine” and “be an effective treatment for prostatitis,” a condition in which the prostate gland is inflamed, causing difficult or painful urination, groin pain, and sometimes flu-like symptoms. Prostate milking “helps free the prostate of what’s called ‘expressed prostatic secretion,’” she explains. “This action leads to a prostatic secretion getting released from the prostate, and also has the potential to stimulate profoundly intense orgasms, and ultimately act as an overall reset to the sexual arousal cycle.”

If prostate milking sounds intriguing and you'd like to try it, start slowly and use lube. White says it’s important to relax before beginning: “Think about the practice of prostate milking as an incredible way to take you into a deeply surrendered state so remember to try not to over control your experience.” 

You can try different positions to see what works best, such as squatting or lying on the back with knees bent. Dr. Donaghue says, “I always recommend getting used to having the anal area touched first by massaging externally in the shower or during masturbation, and then later practicing putting your finger internally. The prostate best responds to gentle pressure.” If there’s any pain or discomfort, stop and check in with your healthcare practitioner, because this could be a sign of an underlying health issue.

Both Dr. Donaghue and White mentioned it may be easier to use a sex toy than a finger, especially if you're going solo. Dr. Donaghue recommends the Vector by We-Vibe, while White suggests the Satisfyer Beads. And while prostate milking can make masturbation feel even better, it can also be a lot of fun to try with a partner — who might combine prostate stimulation with oral sex or a hand job. The possibilities are endless.