A Week In Pittsburgh On An $80,000 Salary

Occupation: Stay-at-home parent
Industry: None
Age: 30
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Salary: $80,000 (husband’s salary).
Assets: Home value: $240,000; checking account: $4,000; high-interest savings accounts: $225,000; investments: $1,665,000; retirement investments: $90,000; value of vehicles: $76,000.
Debt: $0
Paycheck amount (2x/month): $2,150
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing costs: Home is paid off. We pay $400/month for taxes and insurance.
Loan payments: $0
Water/sewer/trash: $150
Electric and gas: Varies but combined average $120.
Internet: $90
Cell phone: $50 (two phones).
Car insurance: $100 (paid annually).
Apple Music: $18 (we share with my family and get streaming services (Netflix, Disney+) from them).
Kids’ activities: $150
Vacation savings: Generally $500. We try to take one or two big trips a year (sometimes abroad) and some smaller, weekend-type getaways.
Annual memberships: ~$500 (zoo, botanical garden, museum).

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes. There was never any question that I would go to college, although I felt a lot of pressure not to go into a male-dominated field (my mom experienced career struggles and shared her anxiety about career advancement and the gender gap at length). I graduated from a state college debt-free, thanks to a combination of scholarships and my parents’ 529 plan (for which I am forever grateful). I went on to earn two master’s degrees — I had a fellowship for the first one and worked through the second.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Money was a frequent topic of conversation in our house. With my mom, the conversations were always about the cost of things and the importance of savings. She was vigilant about the smallest expenses, from not running air-conditioning in the summer to cutting open toothpaste tubes for the last little bit. As I got older, I had more abstract conversations with my dad about economic indicators like interest rates and inflation. I learned some practical things, like balancing a checkbook, but definitely still had a learning curve for things like investing as an adult.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I started cleaning homes in my neighborhood when I was 11, and babysitting when I was 14. This was for spending money but I took my parents’ advice super seriously and saved almost all of it. I was lucky enough to make great money babysitting for well-off clients, so I didn’t have a “real” job until my campus job in college.

Did you worry about money growing up?
Absolutely. I knew my parents were in good career fields but we definitely didn’t live the same way my friends and peers did. We only took one vacation in my childhood, rarely went out to eat (when we did, it was the cheapest thing on the McDonald’s menu and nothing but tap water to drink) and wore ill-fitting thrift store clothes and shoes. At one point, my high school coaches were even under the impression that my family couldn’t afford necessary equipment for my extracurricular activities so they used extra funds to cover my expenses. My parents fought about money often — it was so rough that my parents nearly divorced when my dad loaned money to help a family member out of a financial crisis.

Do you worry about money now?
Only in an abstract way. It was a big learning curve to figure out the nuts and bolts of investing, and I worry about being a good steward of our assets and managing them responsibly. I know we are very secure in a day-to-day sense but I also subject myself to completely unnecessary stress about staying within the confines of our monthly take-home pay and cash-flowing everything — it’s an anxiety I’m working on but it definitely stems from my childhood. I also feel guilty about not directly contributing monetarily as a stay-at-home parent (I have a side gig but it’s not consistent enough to feel like more than a hobby at this point).

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
My parents helped me through college with a 529 plan. I became financially independent after graduating at 22. My financial safety net now is an inheritance so my husband and I probably act as other people’s financial safety nets at this point (although none of our loved ones knows about the extent of our financial situation).

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Yes. I received the bulk of my assets after my mom died by suicide. The assets came as a complete shock to me because my mom had always talked as though we barely had enough money for groceries or other bills. Even several years later, I struggle with the inheritance — I didn’t do anything to “earn” it so I just feel like a steward of the assets, if that makes sense? We were already debt-free except for a small balance on the mortgage so we used some of the inheritance to pay that off. Other than that, we make donations (not reflected in monthly expenses) out of the sum and plan to save the rest to cover our children’s college and potential costs for other loved ones (such as nephew/niece’s college expenses, or unexpected medical events). But I’m very aware that the existence of this financial cushion enables us to spend more of our monthly income than we otherwise would.

6:40 a.m. — I’m already groggily awake but I hear the girls, M. and L. (who share a room) turning on the light and opening their gate. J. (my husband) wakes up in a panic, thinking he missed his alarm, before I remind him he doesn’t work until later today. I hurry to get the girls out of our room before they start jumping on the bed and make them a quick breakfast (toast for M., bagel for L., fruit for both) and eat a bagel myself.

7:30 a.m. — Load the girls in the car for a quick errand. I’m trying to get them out the door so J. can get more sleep. He ran out of his favorite drink (Gatorade) yesterday so we run to Target. We buy Gatorade and “kid snacks” (beetroot biscuits, yogurt bites and puffs). The cashier gives me a hard time because we have so many of the same-flavor Gatorades in the cart but J. goes through them fast! $36.53

8:45 a.m. — Back at home. I make an iced coffee and play Memory with M. (our oldest), while J. (who is now awake) keeps L. (our youngest) company. We play until J. has to leave for work at 9:45 a.m., then switch to reading stories. After reading the same three books half a dozen times, I suggest we play outside.

10:30 a.m. — We are in our swimsuits in the kiddie pool outside! I’m hoping the girls play more nicely together today — the kiddie pool tends to bring out aggressive water-splashing tendencies that leave someone in tears. After the kiddie pool, swing set and a backyard bike ride, I make lunch. I often find that I’m rummaging around for odds and ends food-wise when J. is at work, and this is no exception. We have a slice of leftover homemade pizza, tuna sandwiches and pierogi before playing again.

1:20 p.m. — It’s nap time! M. plays quietly (a miracle!) in her room. I lie next to L. and rub her tummy while she falls asleep. While she drifts off, I check for any alerts on Mercari and Poshmark — I’m in the third trimester of pregnancy with our third child (a boy!) and have been slowly buying the few clothes we will need for him secondhand but there’s nothing interesting today.

1:45 p.m. — L. is sleeping so I grab my laptop to try and get some work done for my side gig. M. is a little finicky about naps now so I find quiet time rotates between me sleeping (pregnancy exhaustion is real!), working and giving M. “mommy time.” After 30 minutes, M. gets bored of looking at stories in her room and comes out. We eat strawberries and do spelling puzzles.

4 p.m. — L. is up! We nibble on chips and salsa while I unload a grocery delivery. We were sick all last week so I didn’t have a chance to make it to the store when I normally do so this delivery is milk, alllll the fruit (strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, bananas), chicken broth and some freezer meals for J. Then we throw on our shoes and head for a walk at a local lake, where we admire a turtle on a rock and generally run amok until everyone gets tired and hot. $50.28

6:15 p.m. — I’m prepping dinner — pasta with butternut squash — while the girls play. After cutting the squash and getting the pasta boiling, I skim through some side-gig-adjacent reading, break up approximately half a dozen sibling squabbles and race the same potty-training toddler to the bathroom twice. After dinner, I clean the kitchen then herd the girls into the shower. I go ahead and grab a shower too, since I know I’ll be too tired later. PJs, stories, teeth brushing and it’s off to bed.

8:15 p.m. — I lie beside the girls while they fall asleep. I’m nearly out of my bar shampoo so I order that (shampoo and conditioner bars that should last me six months, $27.44), and while I’m on a roll I pay the trash bill and order baby wipes ($17.54). I also place library holds for a few children’s books. $44.98

5:50 a.m. — L. wakes up and I bring her into bed with me to get more rest. We both fall back asleep quickly and I am startled awake by M.’s wakeup an hour later.

7 a.m. — I want more protein this morning so I make a turkey sausage and egg bagel sandwich, and the girls and I read stories on the couch. They are a little grumpy with each other, fighting over my lap space (which has only decreased as this pregnancy has progressed). M. spills juice all over the floor and L. throws a fit that involves hurling a wooden dog across the room. Eek.

9:45 a.m. — J. wakes up and I must look frazzled because he immediately asks what’s the matter — two kids squabbling! J. plays Legos with M. while L. “helps” me sweep and do laundry. We have church on the TV in the background — it took a few years to find a progressive church home we like and we normally try to go in person but we have early afternoon plans and would be cutting it too close.

11:15 a.m. — Get ready to leave for an MLB game — we are taking my dad as a belated Father’s Day present. L. has an accident all over the floor, literally at J.’s feet, yet the girls still run to ask me to clean it up (the joys of being the default parent).

12:45 p.m. — We make it to the game and stop at the playground before heading to our seats ($91 for four tickets in the nosebleeds, L. gets in free). I packed sandwiches, granola bars and plenty of water but J. buys a Coke ($11.12) with free refills. Our team loses but it's still a blast — I’m not a huge sports person but it’s so fun to be in the crowd in a sports town like Pittsburgh. $102.12

4:30 p.m. — We had planned on grilling out but it’s actually pretty rainy now so we treat my dad to dinner at a brewery instead. We split nachos for the table and I order a cheesesteak with a side salad. The total for five people is $94.43 — not bad! $94.43

7:15 p.m. — Home for snuggles and bedtime stories. After I get the girls in bed, J. and I get a few minutes to hang out before we call it a night.

6:40 a.m. — Up like clockwork! I make myself coffee, and the girls and I have toast and cottage cheese. We read a few books (they get grumpy without morning snuggles) and play outside before it gets too hot.

9:45 a.m. — J. is up! I hand the girls off to him and sneak to our room with my laptop to try to get a few hours of work done. I enjoy my side gig and am hoping to ramp up but it’s hard to find the free time at this point.

12:15 p.m. — We head out the door for a family swim hour at the girls’ swim school. After swimming we have a few hours’ gap before lessons so we celebrate some new swimming skills with Chick-fil-A for the girls (covered by a gift card). They nap in the car with J. while I run into the Container Store for some baby clothes storage ($25.87) before their lessons (spoiler alert: I end up returning the containers). $25.87

5:45 p.m. — Lessons are over and we are back at the house. J. has a men’s group that meets weekly — this week is canceled because so many people are out of town but a few of them decide to go out for burgers anyway ($35.72). I get the girls settled for the night, then eat a banana and tidy up before bed. I try to read but only make it a few pages before falling asleep. $35.72

6:30 a.m. — The girls are awake! We grab bananas and head outside to play for a few hours before it gets too hot.

10 a.m. — J. takes the girls to a dentist appointment and I run out for coffee. I almost never buy coffee out but a local coffee shop opened just a few months ago. Our sleepy suburb has trouble sustaining anything but chain restaurants (I’m still mourning the loss of my favorite pizza place this past winter) so I want to support them. I get an iced mocha latte and a blueberry muffin (delicious!), and get about an hour of work in before they get back. $11.47

12:30 p.m. — J. makes fried rice but I’m a pretty finicky eater during pregnancy so I settle for hard-boiled eggs (don’t ask me why that sounded better than fried rice), then get the girls down to nap. M. really needs her nap today — she threw herself onto the floor sobbing when her dolls wouldn’t all fit in the stroller at the same time — so I lie beside her until she falls asleep. Of course, L. wakes up and wants cuddles as soon as M. falls asleep. J. runs out for a haircut ($38, he tips generously). $38

4 p.m. — We eat an early dinner with J.’s grandma. I lost both my grandmas well over a decade ago so I feel extra thankful for the time my girls get to spend with a great-grandparent. We try to see her every week.

5:45 p.m. — J. works night shift tonight so he’s off to work and I do a grocery store run with the girls. We stop at the co-op for glass bottled milk, organic veggie pizza and some fruit ($49.54), then swing over to the grocery store for bread, cottage cheese and a host of pantry staples like crackers and flour ($62.26). I also place a Thrive Market order for some things that are on sale and seriously stock up on applesauce, granola and jarred tomatoes ($50.76). $162.56

8:30 p.m. — Our errands ran late so we are all exhausted by the time we get home. I lie by the girls while they fall asleep, then shower and text a quick good night to J. before falling asleep.

6:40 a.m. — Up again, like clockwork. Usual morning routine: snuggles, story time and breakfast (we’ve been on a bagel kick). I get the girls ready to get out of the house so J. will have some quiet to sleep after his night shift.

9 a.m. — The library holds are ready so we swing by to pick them up and get the girls’ summer reading logs stamped for the week. We leave with a stack of books that will be read on endless repeat for the next few days. We are headed to meet a friend at the splash pad but have some time to kill so we stop to see some farm animals on the way.

10:30 a.m. — Splash pad time! This is the first year that both girls are old enough to enjoy the splash pad (and not be completely run over by older kids). We hang out with a friend who has similarly aged kiddos and get about 30 minutes of playtime in before the crowds show up. After that, M. and her friend still run through the water but the younger kids mostly snack in the shade with us. I packed sandwiches, nuts, fruit and granola bars for the adventure — it all gets eaten!

1:15 p.m. — Back at home for naps. The girls end up falling asleep in mommy and daddy’s bed (a real treat!) and I nap with them. J. didn’t sleep well after the night shift but he ends up drifting back to sleep to a movie on the couch.

4 p.m. — I run out to the store intending to buy rotisserie chicken but the store is all out (of course) so I come home with two whole chickens instead. I need them for a meal prep day tomorrow so I go ahead and toss them in the oven. For dinner, we all scarf down parmesan-crusted tilapia and sweet potatoes (surprisingly, the girls like this too!) before J. has to leave for work. $20.83

6 p.m. — The girls and I go for a walk around the neighborhood and spend some time coloring back at home before showers and bedtime. I get the girls to sleep early enough that I actually get about 50 pages of reading done before calling it a night around 10:30 p.m.

1 a.m. — My youngest wakes up. I give her a minute to settle herself but she goes to the gate calling for me so I go lie with her until she falls back asleep.

3 a.m. — Both girls are up this time. I never claimed to have the world’s best sleepers but I’m really not sure what’s going on tonight. I get them settled again but don’t make it back to my room for an hour.

5:30 a.m. — This time, when L. wakes up, I have her come sleep with me. We get a few more hours of rest in and don’t wake up until we hear daddy come home from work. The day calls for a little extra caffeine so I make an iced coffee. Breakfast is toast, fruit and cottage cheese.

9:30 a.m. — My sister-in-law comes over for a meal prep day. The kids all run amok while we prep chicken pot pies for the freezer. We try to make batch meals at least once a month so we have something easy to grab on busy days. Today we make eight pot pies. I’ll use one tonight but hopefully save the rest for after baby #3 arrives.

12:30 p.m. — I rush to get the girls PB&Js and fruit before they nap. I have a meeting I need to hop on at 1 p.m. (a mini-course that will be helpful for my side gig) and am hoping the girls will be sleeping by then. Of course, the girls are extra whiny and L. ends up needing her diaper changed at 12:58 p.m. Good thing it’s mostly a webinar format so I don’t need my camera on: 20 minutes later I’m still lying beside L., rubbing her back while trying to take computer notes with one hand.

3:30 p.m. — J. is up (night shift weeks are brutal!) and so are the girls. He takes them outside to play for a little bit while I do laundry and generally tidy up. I realize I haven’t felt baby move in a few hours so I lie down until he reaches kick count (which thankfully doesn’t take too long). When the girls come back in, they want to make cookies, which we do and get the obligatory pink icing all over our faces.

5 p.m. — J. heads out to dinner with a few guy friends. They are theoretically planning a bachelor party but of course nothing gets set in stone. He orders a cheesesteak and a beer ($26.90). I heat up the pot pie I made earlier — we eat half of it, and I’ll save the other half for the girls’ dinner tomorrow. After dinner, we play tea party and doctor (I receive a very elaborate leg amputation from a 4-year-old — not sure I’d recommend). $26.90

8:15 p.m. — I lie beside the girls to get them to sleep, as usual. I try not to use my phone during the day so bedtime feels like the time to get all random email, assorted reading and other phone things done. I finally click “order” on a handful of books (mostly children’s books) I’ve had sitting in my Book Outlet cart — book mail is the best kind ($39.40). I end up falling asleep in the girls’ room and stumble out an hour later to hang out with J. for a few minutes before bed. $39.40

7:20 a.m. — Sleeping past 7 a.m. counts as sleeping in, so we are thrilled when the girls wake up and come in for morning snuggles. After a few minutes, L. gets bored of this and demands to be fed. Breakfast is yogurt, granola and fruit, and we have time for a few stories before we head out for the morning.

10 a.m. — The girls and I meet a friend at the botanical gardens (we have a membership). After wandering around for a few hours, we have a picnic lunch — sandwiches, fruit and yogurt — before heading back for nap.

1 p.m. — Nap time is extra nice when J. is home because the girls go to bed more easily for him. He gets them settled for a nap while I take care of the dishes/laundry/scattered toys (household chores that are truly never-ending with little ones). I get about 30 minutes of other work in before showering and getting ready — the grandparents are watching the girls tonight for J. and me to have a belated anniversary date!

4:30 p.m. — Off for date night. We have reservations at a local Italian restaurant and I’m extra excited because I’ve been craving their risotto for weeks. I order Romano chicken with risotto and a side salad, J. orders a seafood pasta and we split bruschetta ($104.92). After dinner, we walk around for almost an hour before heading back in time to tuck the girls in. $104.92