How Do I Stop My Anxiety From Ruining My Much-Needed Vacation?

Confession: I am stressed out. Everyone is. These days, it feels as though God set the difficulty level of the game of life on “hard” mode, and we’ve been battling final boss after final boss every single day. But while many people have found outlets for their pent-up tension (sex! DIY nail art! homemaking!), I've found it really challenging to do anything productive with my stress. Even when I feel myself getting physically and mentally overwhelmed, the only thing I seem to know how to do is work through it — as in, acknowledging the pressure but pushing forward until I have the inevitable emotional breakdown that I’ve learned to be able to predict with scary precision. My monthly “I’m going to lose it in a second” tells are pretty obvious: insomnia, mood swings, ugly crying, and existential crises. You know, the usual.

“Have you considered…taking a vacation?” my therapist asked in that tone (the one that’s not really a question but a strong recommendation) during an especially tearful July session after I told her about my latest meltdown. Of course I had thought about it. But planning and executing a trip would just be yet another task on my mile-long to-do list. I didn’t even have groceries in my fridge at the time, and I hadn’t taken off my bonnet all week. My work inbox was full, my checking account was low, and I was running on fumes. As burned out as I was, how could I possibly plan a vacation?

When you (or your therapist) ask, life answers. Right on time, I was personally invited on a trip to Cabo for an all-inclusive stay at the TAFER Hotels & Resorts’ Garza Blanca Resort & Spa Los Cabos. I saw it as a sign from up above for me to sit down somewhere beautiful on somebody’s beach and do nothing but enjoy — something that I typically never have the chance to do. So I took it. Weeks later, I landed on the sunny shores of Baja California with two of my favorite people (my man and my homegirl, Unbothered Associate Social Strategist Maiya Carmichael), flute of bubbly in hand at the front desk of the Garza Blanca Resort & Spa. I’ve been to resorts before, but this one was undoubtedly among the cream of the crop; the artistic decor and chic architecture throughout the site was only bested by its beautiful oceanfront view. During our private tour of the campus, our guide pointed out its notable amenities, including six specialty restaurants (and a food truck!), five fully-stocked top shelf bars, infinity pools, luxury suites, and a picturesque world-class spa, all of which were part of our personalized itinerary that was put together by our butlers. From the butlers to the housekeepers to the security guards, every single staff member at Garza Blanca was gracious and kind. The hospitality was unmatched. 

“Finally,” I sighed to myself while curled up in my California king bed, listening to the waves crash against the shore on our first night at the resort. “I can relax.” Or so I thought.

It turns out that anxiety doesn’t just disappear when you’re on vacation. I thought the warmth of the Mexican sun or the bottomless margaritas would immediately melt my stress away, but I should have known better because I could not get to sleep. Unwinding was a lot more challenging than I thought it would be, especially since I was trying to chase away an unease that had been building up for years at that point. (The pandemic has done a number on me, chile.) Like flipping a switch in my brain, rest had to be activated. I had to choose ease.

So I did. And I couldn’t have picked a better location to relieve my tension because Garza Blanca is made for relaxing. At the spa, the three of us baked in the heated sauna, sweating out our worries and our edges. Later, we’d try our hands at a hydrotherapy circuit; my boyfriend braced himself in the cold plunge pool for like 10 minutes (he is very extreme) while Maiya and I lounged about in the bubbles of the grand jacuzzi, gossiping about everything but work. After getting showered and changed, we met up for dinner at one of the resort’s fancy restaurants, where we ate tasty pasta and sipped specialty cocktails on a rooftop overlooking the water. In the days that followed, we would eat even more delicious food and drink even more top shelf drinks. 

Now, I’d be lying if I said my stress levels dropped to zero in those first days. I did enjoy being able to laze about, but I still felt somewhat restless in the calm, like I needed something to do. Luckily, Garza Blanca isn’t just a sunbathing-and-sangrias resort — it’s got plenty of activities for the people who like to get moving, too. Our itinerary thankfully included a host of cool, but relaxing pastimes. My boyfriend, a longtime yogi, opted for paddleboard yoga. Soft-life queen Maiya went back to the spa for another massage. I got my BMX on and joined up with a group for an electric bike ride down the beach. (It sounds chill, but riding a bike on sand is harder than it looks.) As a group, we took a cooking class and were even treated to a private wine tasting with a seasoned sommelier. The good vibes only continued when we decided to venture outside of the resort to explore downtown Cabo one evening, where the nightlife was unexpectedly lit. Dancing with my people to the sounds of Megan thee Stallion and Bad Bunny (we love range), I felt a burst of new energy that I hadn't felt in months. I was tired and sore, but I was having fun. Dare I say it, I was happy! 

The days flew too quickly at Garza Blanca, and before I knew it, it was time to go home. As I closed my eyes on my flight back to the States, I felt…lighter. The anxiety hadn’t fully vanished, but instead of a pounding in my ears and a weight on my shoulders, it had quieted to a manageable hum, and it felt like a hill to climb rather than a mountain to scale. I wasn’t able to leave my anxiety at home, but it didn’t overtake me like it usually does. By making the decision to prioritize rest, something had shifted in my mind and in my body. I’m definitely still stressed, but I’m coping with it in better ways now. 

Chances are that you clicked on this story because you, too, are feeling anxious these days. Is it your family? Your friends? Your job? The economy? The impending apocalypse? We know that life likes to throw hands, and maybe it feels like you’re losing this round because of how exhausted you are all the time. It’s okay. You’re not alone. And like me, the answer to alleviating, not eliminating, your burnout might very well be as simple as taking a vacation. Whether it's an international jaunt to Cabo, a glamping trip in the desert, or a solo staycation at a local hotel nearby, a vacation probably won’t resolve everything overnight — but it is a step in the right direction. Who knows? It could just be the reset you need.