A Definitive Ranking Of The Relationships On Orange Is The New Black

When Orange Is the New Black started, we only had to keep the pulse of two romantic relationships. First, there was the Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling) of the present day, living in Brooklyn with her kind, naive paramour, Larry (Jason Biggs). Then, there was the Piper Chapman of 10 years prior, sucked into Alex Vause's (Laura Prepon) seductive wormhole of international drug rings and luxurious penthouses. While dating Alex, Piper smuggled drug money over the Belgian border. These two relationships collide when, out of the blue, Piper is named as an accomplice and sentenced to 15 months in prison.

Five seasons later, and we're following the various directions of the many characters' love lives. From hookups in chapels to glances full of abject longing, there's no shortage of sexual tension within Litchfield's walls. The inmates are grappling with the weight of a crushing system, and with how to make life meaningful in confinement. How best to keep afloat amidst this pressure? By holding on to each other.

Here are all the relationships on Orange Is the New Black, ranked from terrible to Poussey and Soso, the golden standard of prison romance.