I Let A Famous Psychic Tell Me How To Date

Over the past few months, I’ve interviewed a few different tarot readers, tried starting my day with a daily tarot card pull, and bought my own tarot deck (which I am still, very slowly, learning how to use). So when I was invited to get a tarot reading from the psychic Antphrodite, (famous on streaming site Twitch) I was in. What better way to learn more about tarot than to go straight to the pros?

Antphrodite, aka Ant, has been reading tarot since he was a 12-year-old with an interest in the paranormal. In May 2017, his friends talked him into joining Twitch, and within 30 minutes of his first stream he began reading tarot live — someone had spotted his tarot deck on his desk and asked him about it. The next day, he was flooded with requests for readings. “It grew from there, and I single-handedly had to develop a business model for something no one else was doing,” Ant tells Refinery29.

Today, Ant has a Twitch following of over 22,000. A self-proclaimed “sassy psychic,” he combines his psychic abilities with his sense of humour and his love of pop culture. He plays his favourite songs (including lots of K-pop) before readings and regularly uses tarot to predict celebrity drama, such as the James Charles/Tati Westbrook feud. Although some tarot readers believe it’s unethical to read tarot for people who aren’t present, Ant compares it to the way celebrity gossip and entertainment publications cover public figures’ lives. “If you are an influencer or public person, you put yourself out there," he says. “My intention is to help them and be like, ‘Hey, this is something you should watch out for.’”

He has similar words for people who think his advice — which can include telling people to consider ending a relationship — is too harsh. “My style is very straightforward: I don’t like to sugarcoat things,” he says. “If you come to me, I'm trying to help you, and I would be doing a disservice to you if I wasn’t honest."

Ant does a lot of relationship readings, and I didn’t feel like I needed psychic advice about my career at the moment, so I put forth a question about my love life. Here’s what I asked: I’m a sex & relationships writer, and I go on a lot of first dates, but it’s been almost a year since I’ve been on more than two dates with one person. What should I be doing differently when it comes to dating? I emailed Ant my question about an hour before he began his livestream, so when he read my cards, I was watching on Twitch — as were many of his followers.

Ant began by laying out nine cards in three groups of three. The first card was a Queen of Pentacles, which Ant says indicates stability in my career and in my relationships (when I actually get in them, that is). “When it comes to relationships, you know exactly what it takes to maintain a serious, strong relationship, and you’re not going to lose yourself in them,” Ant says. “It also means you’re good at your job.” I’ll take it!

Next up: the Queen of Wands, which represents me (and which Ant said represents him as well). This card means that I’m super-passionate about what I do, Ant says — to the point that it can “burn others out”: “When it comes to connecting with people, you come across a little bit much.” Combined with the Queen of Pentacles, “this energy 1000% is intimidating,” Ant says. While I’m an introvert and don’t think of myself as aggressive, I am passionate about my work and my beliefs — and I’ve lost interest in more than one person when they expressed casual misogyny, such as saying that Beyoncé needs to “cover up more” or, more recently, calling a woman political writer I admire “crazy.”

This interpretation was reinforced by the next card, the Emperor reversed. “I don’t think you have to change too much,” Ant says — which I was glad to hear, because I really don’t want to date someone who has terrible opinions about Beyoncé. Ant says that the cards indicate I get easily frustrated with dates (true) so I should watch out for that, and I should “keep it lighter, longer” instead of going for challenging topics head-on.

The next three cards were the Page of Cups, the Four of Swords, and Ten of Swords — all three reversed. Ant says that these cards indicate that I handle rejection well and have trouble getting attached, so I should be careful about potentially missing subtler romantic gestures; I’m also prone to self-sabotage. The final three cards were the Page reversed and the Knight of Swords upright with the Knight of Cups, which indicates that I have high expectations but tend to be attracted to people who “have potential, rather than somebody who already is.”

Then, Ant did something that I was surprised by: he added a new deck to the mix. This one was an oracle deck, which is less structured and more customisable than a traditional tarot deck. “Oracle decks can be pretty much anything,” Ant explains. “I use oracle decks to get more specific in a section of a reading — if I see an issue or want more explanation, I pull out the oracle deck.” From the oracle deck, he drew two cards: Parasite and Addicted, indicating independence and an aversion to clinginess. “You do need independence, but I think you’re a little too hyper-independent,” Ant says.

Finally, Ant drew another two cards from an astrology deck: Pluto and Libra. Pluto indicates that I want someone who has made a significant change in their lives, and Libra indicates that the person will have some of the traits associated with Libras, such as diplomacy, sweetness, and a “boy- or girl-next-door vibe.” They'll have a passion for equality that might lead them to work in the legal field.

So, to sum it all up: I’m very passionate about my work and my beliefs, and this intensity means that I have a tendency to put up walls when it comes to connecting with a date. I should work on keeping early dates lighter and be open to noticing subtler romantic gestures. My best match will be someone with similar passions — not someone who has potential, but someone who already is, as Ant puts it. “When you pull the Queen of Wands, she knows her self-worth and she isn’t going to accept someone who is less than she deserves,” he says. “You need to find someone who has a very similar passion. It’s not going to work any other way.”

This all rang true for me — especially the part about wanting to find an equal partner. Although I’ve been swiping on various dating apps since my reading a week ago, I haven’t gone on a date since. But now I know a little more about what to look for. And hey, lawyers-next-door: my DMs are open.