Ansel Elgort Wants Polyamory Without The Sex

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is complicated. And, Ansel Elgort, is adamant that love can exist without sex. The Goldfinch star got real about this idea in a recent interview with The Sunday Times. Elgort, 25, dove into the dubious topic as he discussed his goals for the next five years. 

"I’d like to have done a few plays and performed my music," he said. "I’d also like to find a lot more love.” And Elgort, who’s been dating his girlfriend Violetta Komyshan since they were in high school, noted that that doesn’t mean he’s looking to have sex outside his relationship. Love is more nuanced than that, in his opinion. "It doesn’t need to be sexual. I could be done sexually with my girlfriend," he told The Sunday Times. "I think we’ve been pretty clear that I want to feel free to fall in love with people and that [option] should be open, but sexually it can be closed off."

He clarified that he’s "in love with a bunch of my male friends who I’m not interested in having sex with, so why can’t I put the desire to have sex with women aside and let myself have love with women?"

Some Twitter users joked that Elgort seemed to be hitting on something akin to friendship, quipping: "We're going to help you learn about friendship, bro."

For the record, love can mean a lot of different things to different people. Previously, Refinery29 featured 37 definitions of love from strangers around the world. Their answers ranged from “#Loveis a sense of belonging” to "#Loveis mutual. For it to work, you need to give 100%, and be sacrificial and joyful.” 

For his part, Elgort says he loves Shailene Woodley, his co star in Divergent and The Fault in Our Stars. “We never had anything sexual and that was great," he said. "There will probably be some sort of chemical thing at some point that you can’t help, but you just have to be disciplined… We’re primitive beings."