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When you're on the giving end of a blowjob, sometimes all you're thinking about is trying not to gag (and keeping your hair off your face). But the thing is, gagging when you have an object ramming into your mouth is a normal anatomical reaction, and not an indication of your blowjob abilities. That's why there's a blowjob technique that actually embraces gagging and spit: deep-throating.
Deep-throating is the act of inserting a penis or other object (like a dildo or strap-on) into your actual throat, rather than just the mouth, says Megan Stubbs, a certified sexologist. It sounds physically impossible, or like some unrealistic porn move, because throats are generally not used to having large objects inside of them. But lots of people — givers and receivers — are big fans of deep-throating, because it can provide a more intense sensation than the average blowjob.
Before you just go slamming a penis or object down your throat, there are a few tips that you should keep in mind. The most important one? Relax and don't overthink it, Stubbs says. "You won't be the first person to gag or maybe vomit on your partner," she says. "It comes with the territory." As with any new sexual practice, talk about it with your partner beforehand, Stubbs suggests. Givers are supposed to be comfortable, too, so speak up if you're not.
Ahead are some tips from Stubbs that might make deep-throating easier on the giver. Keep in mind that everyone is totally different, because all bodies are different. If you realize you're not into it, that's perfectly fine. "Listen to what your body is telling you, be patient, and remember it's okay to laugh!" Stubbs says.
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