Jay Z’s Got 99 Problems — & We Finally Know All Of Them

Jay Z's got a pretty good life. He's married to Beyoncé. He has an adorable daughter named Blue Ivy. Yesterday, he launched a streaming service to rival Spotify with some of the heaviest hitters in the game. He's not a businessman, he's a business, man. There's just the lingering issue of those 99 problems he once rapped about, hanging like a lyrical albatross around Hova's neck. 

Thanks to illustrator Ali Graham's new book, we finally know what's plaguing Jay Z and stopping him from leading his best life. In 99 Problems: Superstars Have Bad Days, Too, Graham cheekily depicts all of Jay's hundo-minus-one issues and grievances.  

"I've always loved wordplay and puns, and I was trying to come up with a simple and fun illustration project to work on in my spare time — the song "99 Problems" randomly came on my iPod and it got me thinking — what sort of everyday problems might a superstar rapper have to endure?" Graham told us about his inspiration for the series.

Ahead, check out some of Hova's biggest problems as illustrated by Ali Graham. Can someone please fix Jay's Rolley? It don't tick tock.