Bad Questions To Ask Someone Sober, Quit Drinking Story

Skip navigation!

Begin Slideshow

Photographed by Natalia Mantini.

This week, I celebrated four years sober!

Isn't that bananas? I mean, not really, no: I know how time works, and I know how it passes, and the difference between 2017 and 2013 is night and day and a bunch of other overused sentiments. I don't recognise the person I was then, much like four years from now I probably won't recognise the person I am now. Time is weird and fickle and fleeting and constant and sometimes the only assurance that things are changing, so when I think about that first week of not-drinking, I feel exactly as uncomfortable as I probably did then, only this time it’s because I know how totally fucked up quitting something you really like can be.

You know what else is fucked up? The ridiculous things other people say to you when you don’t drink. So in the spirit of four years and more celebratory sparkling water than you can possibly imagine, here are the statements and questions I, a sober person, hate being asked by people who are not. LET'S LAUGH TOGETHER.

A version of this essay originally appeared in Anne T. Donahue's newsletter, That's What She Said, which you can subscribe to here.

More from Mind

Women Are Now Filming The Messy Endings In Their Lives

Would you rather cry on the phone to your friend about a breakup or broadcast a video of yourself in tears for millions to see? Some people are openly shar

by Tanyel Mustafa

Joking You’ve “Healed Too Much” Might Be A Sign You’re Still Hurting

Is it possible to have healed “too much” following a bad romantic experience? Adrienne, 29, from London, who doesn’t want to share her full name, thi

by Tanyel Mustafa

Dedicated Feature

Why Going To The Gallery Is My Secret Self-Care Weapon

The museum first became a safe haven for my mental wellbeing when I was a kid. I remember having to follow my grandad’s slow pace as I held his hand, pat

by Sara Quattrocchi ...

Why Is It So Damn Hard To Keep A Journal?

Welcome to Press Pause. This January, we’re asking: What does self-care look like when it’s not all or nothing? What if we simply pressed pause here

by Kayleigh Dray

I’ve Entered My Boring Era & Couldn’t Be Happier

Welcome to Press Pause. This January, we’re asking: What does self-care look like when it’s not all or nothing? What if we simply pressed pause here

by L'Oréal Blackett

Can These SAD Lamps & Wake-Up Lights Beat The Winter Blues? We Fo...

Sometimes, knowing a dark and gloomy autumn is coming can be more depressing than the season itself. If you’re someone with seasonal affective disord

I Couldn’t Afford To Treat My Mental Health Crisis Without ...

At the end of 2021, I paid £380 for the privilege of a psychiatrist telling me I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This was a huge relief, particularly

by Sadhbh O'Sullivan

The Rise In Manifestation Sounds Is Causing Chaos For People With...

Twenty-seven-year-old Erica Kathleen regularly finds herself making private TikTok videos in the middle of the night to “manifestation sounds“.

What I Learned During My First 30 Days On Antidepressants

Trigger warning: This article contains references to suicide, which could be triggering to some readers. Welcome to Vibe Check, Unbothered’s wellness col

by Kimber Bowman

I Got Sweat Botox In An Attempt To Smell Better

My keen vigilance against smelling like body odour follows me around like a cartoon fart cloud. I am assured by people around me that the smell is all in m

by Sadhbh O'Sullivan

After 6 Years, I’m Taking A Break From Therapy

This is Grace Victory’s personal experience, as told to Sadhbh O’Sullivan Editors’ note: This story has been updated to reflect this is a

by Grace Victory

TikTok’s ‘Burnt Toast Theory’ Is All About Embracing Life’s Frust...

Picture this: You’re making toast in the morning as per your normal routine, only this time, it burns. Maybe you’re distracted, or you set your toaster

by Shaeden Berry