A Week In San Diego On A $290,000 Household Income

Occupation: Senior director
Industry: Marketing
Age: 31
Location: San Diego
Salary: $170,000
Household Income/Financial Setup: ~$290,000. My husband, P., works in medicine and is in the process of going out on his own so currently works two jobs. For now, we’re estimating he’ll make between $10,000 and $12,000 gross a month. Generally, we split finances 50/50, but we maintain separate checking accounts (in addition to our shared account) where we fund personal purchases. I also walk dogs on Rover, but it’s not steady income and very hard to estimate income per year. Last year I brought in about $3,000.
Assets: Checking: $3,000; down payment HYSA: $103,000; emergency fund/vacation/extras HYSA: $18,500; P.’s taxes in HYSA: $8500; investments: 401(k): $153,730; P.’s IRA: ~$7,000; index funds: $40,000; HSA: $1000. We also own one of our cars, estimated value: ~$15,000.
Debt: $45,000. This is a combo of my husband’s student loans ($34,000) and what’s left on our second car loan ($11,000).
Paycheck Amount: Mine: $3,848 (2x/month); P.’s: $10,000 to $12,000 (gross; monthly).
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing Costs: $4,100 for a rented two-bed/two-bath condo on the beach.
Loan Payments: $520 for P.’s grad school student loans. He pays from his own account.
Car Payment: $525
Car Insurance: $180 (for both).
Gas & Electric: ~$80 (our place doesn’t have heat or AC so this is steady throughout the year).
Internet/Cable: $0 (included in rent).
Pet Insurance: $93.44 (our dog is epileptic and a high-maintenance breed, so this is 100% worth it).
Subscriptions: $46.95 (Netflix, Spotify, Peacock, and that stupid Apple storage fee).
410(k) Contribution: $1,983.34 (14% of my paycheck to max out). Health/Dental/Vision Insurance: $350.40 (for both of us; comes out of my paycheck).
HSA Contribution: $83.82 (my company also contributes $1000 a year).
Down Payment Savings/Investments: $3,000 (this is the goal. Doesn’t always happen).
Classpass: $69

Yearly Expenses:

Amazon Prime: $150
Renter’s Insurance: $124
Engagement Ring Insurance: $212
Chase Sapphire Preferred: $95
Costco Membership: $60

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, it was ingrained in me from a young age that you graduate high school and then attend college. It wasn’t even a question in my mind that I would take that path. I attended a four-year state school in the same state I grew up in. My parents fully covered tuition as well as room and board. I was responsible for everything else (textbooks, living expenses, etc). 

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My mother is extremely financially savvy and taught me many financial lessons, including the importance of saving and not spending more money than you have, and how to ensure your future self is set up for financial success. I still rely on her for financial education even today — I regularly ask her questions about investing, taxes, insurance, etc. You name it, my mom and I have talked about it.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I started babysitting at 11 to make extra spending money and continued throughout high school and college. My first W-2 job was at an ice cream shop as soon as I turned 16 and was legally able to work.

Did you worry about money growing up?
No, not at all. Growing up, I never went without anything I needed or wanted (within reason). However, my parents made it a point to avoid spoiling us, so I was not given money or allowance once I was old enough to work. I was expected to fund anything “extra” and was expected to contribute to the purchase of my first car and expenses that went with maintaining it.

Do you worry about money now?
I don’t know if I would say that I worry, but I think about it constantly as I manage the finances in our family. I do worry about our ability to be able to buy a house in the semi-near future — while we have a decent chunk of money saved, with rising prices and piss-poor mortgage rates, the goalpost keeps getting further and further away. IVF is also a huge expense that we have the money for, but I struggle with the thought of sacrificing savings and investments to fund it.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
Honestly, 24. My parents helped with my rent after college while living in New York City as my entire salary would have been my rent payment. As soon as I moved in with my now husband, I became fully financially responsible for myself. However I know if we ever got into financial trouble, my parents and my in-laws would be able to help us — and would happily do so.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My parents paid for college and both they and my in-laws paid for our wedding.

6:30 a.m. — Wake up! My husband, P.,  takes the dog out and I wait in bed until they come back inside. My dog comes running back to the bed in the morning so I can sing him his good morning song. I give him scratches and then get up for the day. I rinse my face with water and then apply hyaluronic acid serum, moisturizer and sunscreen. I also apply testosterone gel to my upper arm — we are getting ready to start IVF and this is part of the priming regiment. So far it’s been giving me tons of energy.

7 a.m. — Bone broth in hand and I’m at my desk. I technically work East Coast hours, but I’m in an independent role so unless I have calls, I try to maintain a semblance of a morning routine and start my day at 7 a.m. Work is slammed lately — great time to be starting IVF.

12 p.m. — Break for lunch. I heat up leftovers of brown rice, veggies, and the best Costco chicken meatballs. I’m new to the Costco world and this is life-changing. I also get a request for a dog walk on Friday — I started doing Rover last year when we were hit with a $9,000 surgery bill for our dog without any insurance left for the year. So far it’s been a fun way to get my steps in and play with all the doggies!

3 p.m. — I stalk my insurance website and see that our pre-authorization for IVF finally went through. I’m anxious to get our calendar and understand some rough dates so we can plan, but my clinic won’t set anything up until they have authorization.

4 p.m. — Wrap up work (for now) and get ready to work out. Since I work East Coast hours, I typically work out in the afternoon to burn off all the energy of the day. I’m feeling lazy so I go downstairs to my building’s “gym” and run a mile on the treadmill before lifting weights.

4:45 p.m. — Go back upstairs and take the pup out to pee and throw his ball, then hop in the car to run some errands. First I exchange a pair of sweats from Brandi Melville that are WAY too short (I know the brand is problematic, but everything is 100% cotton). Then I pick up some milk for coffee since we ran out this morning. $2.79

7 p.m. — I’m showered and cooking dinner (turkey burgers and veggies) when P. gets home. We move to the couch where we watch too many episodes of Sex Lives of College Girls. Around 11 p.m. we go bed where I start a new book, Definitely Better Now, to help me fall asleep. This comes after recently making the very brave decision to NOT finish a book (The Will of Many — it had amazing reviews…). I’m a huge reader and it really pains me to do this, but life’s too short to read bad books!

6:30 a.m. — Wake up. Same morning routine except I hop on my computer by 6:45 a.m. to prep for my 1:1 with my boss at 7 a.m. We chat through my current workload and the upcoming project she volunteered me for. It requires some travel in early March which I suspect may interfere with my egg retrieval, so I break down and tell her what’s going on. I try to get through it without crying but of course I can’t — I never cry in professional settings and I’m embarrassed. Luckily she is SUPER understanding and even tells me to connect with another coworker who went through the same thing. We decide I’ll do the work but she may have to travel to present it.

12:30 p.m. — Eat lunch, which is just leftovers from last night’s dinner, while browsing shampoo for wood cutting boards. For Christmas my dad got me a Boos wood cutting board, which requires a monthly oil and shampoo treatment. I haven’t been able to find the shampoo anywhere that doesn’t include an astronomical shipping fee (seriously, on the manufacturer website shipping was $40 for a $12 product) but I finally find some and pull the trigger. $20.36

2:30 p.m. — I need a break from work and remember a pottery studio opened up by my house that offers classes. I check the schedule and see they have a class on Valentine’s Day! I book two spots for P. and me ($75/person). $150

3:30 p.m. — I’m wiped from the day so move to the couch after work to read.

6 p.m. — P. gets home from work and makes dinner (gluten-free pasta, tomatoes, olives, spinach with ground beef) and then we both fire up our computers to finish up work. I write my direct report’s review and work on a newsletter I send out to my clients at the end of each month.

8 p.m. — Another Rover request comes through, this one is a daily recurring request to come sit with an older dog that was recently diagnosed with epilepsy. Even though I know I’m already overextended, I tell her I’m happy to come meet him and offer advice, but I can’t commit to every single day.

6:30 a.m. — Wake up. Same routine! Hop on the computer by 7 a.m. because we have a call with our clients for the new project I’m working on. It sounds interesting, but we have an incredibly tight timeline to get it done, so I’m concerned.

10 a.m. — My boss last-minute schedules my annual review. It goes incredibly well. She said I’ll be ready for a promotion sometime this year, which is exciting because I was just promoted less than a year ago. After we wrap I start on some research for my project.

11:30 a.m. — I pop out to complete a Rover walk. These were the first-ever dogs I walked for Rover and to be honest, they’re really not well behaved, but they deserve the exercise. The owner and I agreed on a pretty low price for two dogs, which I honored at the time as I was trying to build up my clientele. Now I only walk them if it works with my schedule. (I made $16, plus she tips me $4.)

12:45 p.m. — Get back home and see that my insurance finally approved my IVF cycle! I go ahead and pay the deposit to our clinic ($6,376.80). This hurts, but the amount was calculated prior to us hitting our deductible. Once we pay for medication, we’ll hit our deductible, so I suspect we’ll get some of it back. (I hope). $6,376.80

4:30 p.m. — Drive over to the potential Rover client’s house to meet the dog. He is super old and the owner suspects he may not have much longer. We agree on an hour a day and schedule drop-ins Monday to Wednesday of next week. Rover charges her, but I won’t get paid until after the bookings are complete.

6:30 p.m. — P. and I meet our neighbors at a local burger joint for beers and burgers. I skip the beer, but enjoy a burger and fries. We split the bill and somehow it ends up being $82.63 for our half. We realize after the fact they charged us for an extra beer, but at that point we’ve already paid and are over it. Our friends come over for a nightcap after dinner and we hang out until midnight. $82.63

7 a.m. — P. wakes up and leaves quietly to golf with his friends. I sleep until 8 a.m. and then rush to feed and take the dog out while gobbling an RX bar. This is pretty typical behavior of mine, trying to do too much without leaving myself enough time to do it! $75

8:30 a.m. — Get to my Pilates class (paid for with ClassPass) with a minute to spare. I’ve never been to this studio before, and it ends up being the hardest Lagree class I’ve ever taken. I know I’ll be sore tomorrow.

9:45 a.m. — Get back home and have a cup of coffee on the balcony while I read some of my book. Again, I read too long and realize I don’t have a ton of time to get ready for brunch (sensing a theme here?). I frantically get ready and text my friends I’ll be a few minutes late.

12:15 p.m. — The neighborhood we’re having brunch in is notorious for bad parking and today is no exception. I park about a 10-minute walk away from the restaurant but luckily our table isn’t ready yet. I’m meeting three newish girlfriends, which has the potential to be awkward but ends up being really fun! I order the shakshuka ($29 + $6 tip) which was just okay. After brunch we browse a few vintage shops and pop into a bookstore but no one buys anything. $30

2:30 p.m. — I head back home where I find P. napping after golf. I join him. When we wake up we take the pup for a beach walk at sunset, which he LIVES for. It makes me giddy seeing him so happy on the beach. I’m smiling from ear to ear.

5 p.m. — I have some crackers and cheese as a snack to tide me over before dinner. We’re going to a Spaghetti Western-themed birthday party tonight and there will be dinner, but I’m starving now. We cobble together some Western-inspired outfits and stop for a six-pack of beer for P. before heading to the party. $14

8 p.m. — The party is fun — we don’t know many people other than the hosts and I’m not drinking, so we socialize for a few hours, eat some pasta, and then call it a night when the rest of the party heads out to the bars. We’re home and in bed by 11 p.m.

7:45 a.m. — I am tiiiiiired today. Wake up, pop on Sex Lives of College Girls while P. makes breakfast (scrambled eggs with chicken sausage, spinach, and onions).

10:15 a.m. — Arrive at the courts for our weekly pickleball date with another couple who were individually patients of P.’s. We switch on and off booking the court and this week they paid. It is GORGEOUS outside. We play seven competitive games and we’re all exhausted by the end. Who said pickleball is only for old people?

1 p.m. — Get home and FaceTime with my best friend who is pregnant with her third child via IVF. It’s refreshing to talk to someone who has been through it and understands what I’m going through. Sometimes when I talk to people who haven’t, I either end up giving them a science lesson or get to hear about how they got pregnant easily. Happy for them, but unhelpful.

2 p.m. — P. and I take the dog for a walk down to a fish market near our house where we split poke and two fish burritos. This place just opened a brick and mortar a few months ago and if I could eat every meal here I would. $36.64

3:30 p.m. — Home to nap before we go to the grocery store, but end up watching the Grammys and have no energy left to both go to the store and THEN cook something. We pop in a frozen pizza for dinner and realize our water filter is out. San Diego has some dicey tap water, so I place an order for replacement on Amazon ($32.31, but we have a gift card). To hold us over until tomorrow, husband grabs water and fruit snacks from the convenience store across the street. $6.48

8 p.m. — The dog owner from Friday texts me that she doesn’t need me tomorrow because her pup’s health declined over the weekend and she’s staying home to watch him. We agree to play Tuesday and Wednesday by ear. I’m so sad for her and I immediately put in a refund request to Rover.

6 a.m. — I wake up to see an email confirming I ordered something from Sephora ($89). No I didn’t? Upon further investigation I see my recurring order for retinol cream went through which I definitely don’t need refilled right now. I know this is how they get you, but I’m annoyed that they didn’t even give me a warning email. I cancel the order before it ships.

7 a.m. — We ran out of coffee beans yesterday, so I pop to the local coffee shop to replenish our stash. I love this place — my only gripe is their hours, since I’m up before they open and they close at 2 p.m.! Criminal. $18.86

1:30 p.m. — After working heads down for several hours, I break to take the dog out for the first time all day (if you know our dog this is huge — his epilepsy medicine makes him have to pee a lot) and then cobble together lunch which consists of Trader Joe’s kimbap, sauteed onions and spinach, and two chicken sausage links.

3:30 p.m. — Head out the door to make my acupuncture appointment. I’ve been going weekly for about three months to prep for IVF and in general to just relax. It’s expensive, but it’s a drop in the bucket in the world of infertility so… Whatever. $115

5:15 p.m. — I get gas on the way back. Before going home, I stop to meet another new Rover client who I’ll be walking a few days a week at lunch. He’s great and such a little sweetheart! $56.25

6 p.m. — P. went to the grocery store and picked up salmon, bone broth, milk, yogurt, strawberries, string beans, peppers, spinach, hummus, zucchini, beans, cauliflower, broccoli, carrots, pasta, tea, and a few snacks ($115.28). We bought our meat at Costco last week so we’ll pull together some meals using the produce and protein. He also stopped for gas on the way home ($44.65).  $159.93

8 p.m. — The dog owner from last week texts me with the worst news — she had to make the decision to put him down. I am so sad for her and end up exchanging some supportive texts to keep her spirits up. This is the first time this has happened to me in my Rover journey and I go to sleep feeling really down.

6 a.m. — Woke up to see a refill of my IVF supplements went through. I’m excited to not have to take so many pills once this is over. I quickly make myself a yogurt bowl for breakfast to eat at my computer. $63.99

7 a.m. — On the computer and firing away at this project. My role is responsible for the beginning stages of the work, so I’m really feeling the pressure to get things done as quickly as possible so the other teams can get started. My friend texts me and asks if I can let her dog out around lunch since she won’t be home all day. I agree.

10 a.m. — I get another request on Rover to walk two dogs at lunch, but even I have to draw the line somewhere. I decline because work is too busy and I have two other walks today, plus my own pooch to take care of.

11:30 a.m. — Take my friend’s dog out for a quick potty break and walk around the block. She lives in our building, so this is super easy. Once I get him back home, I walk up the block to walk my Rover client. He’s super easy and happy to be outside. (I make $20 from the Rover walk; obviously do not charge my friend).

4:30 p.m. — Worked the entire day and realize I didn’t eat lunch. This has literally never happened to me — I think about food basically all day. I pop out to the grocery store to grab milk for coffee since I used the rest this morning. $2.79

6 p.m. — P. stops at the store on his way home to pick up some things we were out of, (garlic, sriracha, black pepper) and then gets to work on dinner. We’re having salmon, string beans, and carrots. $14.97

9 p.m. — In bed with my book. I’m cooked!