Sapiosexuals Reveal The Struggles They Face While Dating

Urban Dictionary defines "sapiosexual" as "one who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature," but its example of what a sapiosexual would actually say he or she is looking for is a little more descriptive: "I want an incisive, inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind. I want someone for whom philosophical discussion is foreplay. I want someone who sometimes makes me go ouch due to their wit and evil sense of humor." Sound pretentious? Maybe. (Critics certainly think so.) On the other hand, identifying as sapiosexual could just be someone's way of saying he or she is simply seeking a partner who can provide interesting conversation. Sapiosexuals often express a desire to date someone for more intellectual reasons than looks — so that they can transcend contemporary hookup culture (though we certainly have no problem with a straightforward NSA hookup). Of course, satisfying those desires isn't always easy. One sapiosexual Whisper user posted concerns of "looking bitchy for turning people down who don't put intelligent conversation first," while another wrote about having to end "a fun FWB situation because his only topics of conversation were sex and cars." Many describe a need to feel mentally stimulated by their partner, which is far from unreasonable — that's probably something many people, regardless of their orientation, want in a significant other, right? Below, 14 people share what dating is like as a sapiosexual — via secret-sharing app Whisper.