While there are plenty of perks to being in relationships, being single can be pretty fun, too — and a study published in Psychological Medicine last month provides one more reason why.
For the study, the researchers analyzed survey responses from 2,173 Finnish women who had answered questions about their sex lives in 2006 and 2013.
Within this seven-year period, sexual desire among women in relationships went down, with those in the same relationship throughout that time span experiencing a greater decrease than those who'd had several sequentially. Single women's desire didn't significantly increase or decrease.
The good news is, women of every relationship status had more orgasms over time, supporting the theory that sex gets better with age. This was particularly true for single women.
When we spoke to sex therapist Vanessa Marin about these findings, she was surprised by the results on orgasm frequency, since she told Refinery29 that her clients typically have more orgasms with a consistent partner than with one-time hookups. She was not surprised, however, by the findings related to sex drive.
"Most couples tend to get into routines with their sex lives, and sex becomes boring and predictable really quickly," she said. "It's hard to feel much desire for something that isn't particularly pleasurable or enjoyable. We have a harmful myth in our society that good sex should just happen naturally, so couples are hesitant to even talk about their sex lives, much less put an active effort into trying new positions, trying to seduce each other, playing with new fantasies, and so on."
This explanation fits with the findings of another recent study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, which showed that people who believe great sex takes work are happier with their sex lives. If they expect sparks to fly automatically, they may not make the effort necessary to satisfy their partners or themselves.
To make sure you don't fall into this rut, Marin suggested opening up about your fantasies and experimenting with new ways of touching each other and initiating sex. Reading books and articles, taking classes, and speaking to therapists are also good options, because a little education never hurt anyone.
Plus, Marin pointed out, the process of creating a great sex life starts before you even hop into bed: "Other factors in your relationship will seep into the bedroom, so you have to put that same amount of effort into making sure you have a healthy relationship."
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