Here’s A Goop-Approved Rose Quartz Egg For Your Vagina

Already totally over your $15,000 gold vibrator? Finally sick of getting your (totally unnecessary) vaginal steaming appointments? Well, then 2017 is already very lucky for you, because the latest Gwyneth Paltrow-approved, below-the-belt trend is here: $55-66 crystal eggs that go inside your vagina. As explained in a Goop interview with "beauty guru/healer/inspiration/friend" Shiva Rose, the eggs have a vast array of supposed benefits: "Jade eggs can help cultivate sexual energy, increase orgasm... develop and clear chi pathways in the body, intensify feminine energy, and invigorate our life force," says Rose. Where to even begin here, huh? We'll put the whole "life force" thing on hold for a minute to talk about the more, uh, grounded claims. Essentially, the eggs seem to work like ben wa balls, which are inserted into the vagina to help with your pelvic floor-strengthening Kegel exercises. Working those muscles can definitely make sex even more pleasurable (as well as make your core workouts more effective and encourage a better childbirth experience). So there is some reason to think that the eggs could help out in the bedroom, but there are definitely easier and cheaper ways to do those exercises. In fact, you don't really need anything inside of you to do them at all. In terms of safety, it's a little hard to know what's up. Rose suggests boiling the egg before putting it inside you to make sure it's clean (we would also suggest letting it cool down). Chakrubs, the company that makes the eggs, also suggests cleansing them with vodka or brandy, but we'd like to remind you that alcohol often burns the sensitive vaginal walls. If you want to work on your pelvic floor muscles and your chi at the same time, then sure, these eggs sound like fun. But if your life force isn't such a concern, maybe take a look at toys made from more traditional body-safe materials, like silicone. We promise they're still very pretty.