This Guy's Dating Résumé Is So 2017 It Hurts

Joey Adams, 21-year-old junior at Michigan State University, has a dating résumé. His résumé is smartly designed, well-executed, and has earned him plaudits from all over the internet. It first came to attention because of his response to a girl seeking a date for her friend to a formal. He replied on Facebook.

Here's a zoomed-in look at the résumé, pulled from Twitter.

The story of the résumé is one as old as time. Adams was trying to talk to a girl who rejected him because he didn't have one.

“She asked if I had a dating résumé that she could look at, and when I said no (like any normal person would) she told me no,” he told BuzzFeed. “So afterward I decided to make one, so if it ever came up again I could use it in my favor.”

This time, when he saw his shot he took it. Unfortunately, it didn't work. The résumé was an individual failure.

But, you know, things turned around fast for Adams, as he's since apparently secured several invitations to East Lansing-area formals.

And why not? The idea of a dating résumé isn't insane at all. Mostly, we all maintain them in the form of Instagram accounts, Twitter pages, Tinder profiles, and even Facebook. So centralizing all your vitals into one place is a pretty canny way to go about things. Of course, it raises the age-old question of: Should we date based on what we like or what we are like? Whether or not that's shallow, it seems to be true of many relationships throughout time. I would say modern, but you know there were tons of dates in the Middle Ages that were like "You hate the King? Oh my God, me too!"

And then the speaker would be beheaded for impugning both the crown and God. The Middle Ages were tricky that way.