4 Women On Their “Mixed-Weight Relationship” – & How Problematic The Term Is

People are talking about “mixed weight relationships” — again. And yes, it’s still an odd and problematic term. Although people have been using the term for years to describe a relationship between a couple in which one person is larger than the other, it’s come to the fore in the light of Bridgerton, as Nicola Coughlan, who plays Penelope Featherington, acting alongside Luke Newton (plays Colin Bridgerton). Coughlan’s body has been scrutinised constantly, and now there’s this added layer in the context of relationships, that is ultimately asking which body types are the most datable. Coughlan herself said when probed by a journalist about her body, “It is hard because I think women with my body type — women with perfect breasts — we don’t get to see ourselves onscreen enough”. Forbes then published a piece questioning whether the public is ready to see a “mixed-weight relationship” on screen, which went down like a lead balloon in the eyes of women dating people with different body shapes. Rightly, many questioned why this term is only being used when women are larger than men. Body positivity influencer Alex Light has commented on this gendered difference on her social platforms, saying that larger men have been with thinner women on TV since entertainment began. 

Terms like this only serve to categorise people, and often at the discomfort of those who occupy those spaces. “This language implies there are standards and norms that our relationships ‘should’ be subscribing to when the most important thing is that the people in that couple are happy with it, rather than feeling that they constantly have to label themselves or create comparisons,” says Kate Moyle, sex and relationships therapist for sexual wellness brand LELO. “What matters most is how we navigate these dynamics if they cause upset, which might well be exacerbated by the creation of terms like this.”

Refinery29 spoke to women in mixed weight relationships to find out how they actually feel about the problematic term.